The Curb Killer

 

 

It's time to face the facts. I married a curb killer. My husband, love him to death but he just can't seem to stay away from the curbs. Don't let me get too ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning...

When we first met he use to drive a Challenger. That is no small car. It's long, it's low to the ground and it's a heavy car with bigger wheels. I personally was never a fan of that car, it was so low to the ground, you felt like you had to crawl out of it. The doors were so heavy they would always swing back and try to close on me just as my legs were swinging out and it was a major gas guzzler. It felt like you had to put gas in it twice a week just to get to and from. 

When and if he hit the curb, I'd kind of give him a pass. I figured the car was so long to the ground and front end of the car so long, he probably couldn't see the curb to even know he was hitting it. Then last summer we traded in his Challenger for a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

The SUV is higher off the ground so you can see the curbs and street pretty well. That's when I realized it, I married a curb killer. My husband can drive down the road all day long but if it's time to turn the corner, he just nails those curbs. He won't full on go up on the curb but he'll give them a little "love tap" or a "nudge". When there's room and he can pull into a parallel parking space, you just know he's going to hit the curb. I've even started referring to him as the curb killer. Thankfully he hasn't popped a tire or killed one of the rims.

Now when we drive together (which is 99.9% of the time because I hate driving), I point it out before he goes to turn. I'll make a joke of it and yell out CURB KILLER and he'll make a point to not take the turn too close to the concrete. It's actually helping some. No matter what, I'll always love my curb killer and pay the AAA bill on time....

Three Little Letters: DMV

On Friday morning, I got up early and headed out to the Department of Motor Vehicles. My insurance company had made an appointment for me and told me that this was the best route to go because the lines can get long. Um... I'm definitely glad that I walked into the building with an appointment because the line was out the door. No literally... people were standing outside in a line that's how long it was. 

I brisk by all the people in the queue and stand first in line under the Appointment Only line. I was quite pleased with myself. The dmv worker calls me up to the counter, checks my name on some appointment list and proceeds to give me 5 sheets of paperwork. Then he has me leave to get my VIN number verified around back. Sure, no problem I say! After about 15 minutes, I was back inside and really to get the show on the road. They give me my number and tell me to have a seat. I of course oblige. 

This is where I knew things were too good to be true. My number gets called literally maybe five minutes after I sit down. I'm handing the lady all of my paperwork and all of my verification things such as my passport, current drivers license, etc. That's when the other shoe drops....

"Where's your smog check certificate?"

My what?!? 

"In the state of California, you must get your car smog checked and have a certificate to verify that you've done so and passed."

But my car was bought brand new in 2009. Still.... need the smog check. Boo! Why didn't anyone tell me this BEFORE going to the dmv? The lady was really nice though and she let me fill out all of the paperwork and go ahead and pay the fees. Luckily, I had everything to register to vote and to get a new drivers license. This is the part that if I had a third foot, that shoe would have fell off.

So we get everything ready for me to set up a new drivers license. I pay my little fee. They tell me since my current license isn't expired that they'll waive the driving test. I pass the vision test and they say that I'm ready to get my picture taken. Then the nice lady who's been helping me verbally slaps me in the face with, "You'll be taking the written test today. It's 36 question and you can miss six. You also get three tries. Good luck and follow the arrows to the room over there."

Um.... hello cold sweat. 

I was praying and praying that I wouldn't have to do the written test. When I was 15 and took the written test to get my learners... I failed. Three times. Yep..... I know. 

I'm 28 years old. Do you realize how long ago that was? 13 years ago! Who remembers the actual answers they want for those tests? NO ONE. So I continue to have my freak out internally and smile on the outside. I whisk myself over to the testing room, get handed a number 2 pencil and begin. Five minutes later I'm handing the guy my test to be graded and biting my nails. He marks three on the first page. Not good! He looks up at me and goes, "well you've got a 50/50 chance at the moment!"

Thankfully, I only missed one more on the back for a grand total of four. Woohoo! Passed! Now I get to patiently wait for my new license to come in the mail. Now if you're thinking the day at the dmv ends there. Oh no kids, this show isn't over. I had to go get my car smog tested and then come back to the dmv without an appointment time. Luckily, the dmv guy at the front desk honored my earlier appointment and gave me an appointment time slot. I can proudly say, I've got my car registered in California and new tags on my car. It took five hours total for me to get everything done.