What Not To Do/Say On A Date

Look what's back!!! That's right folks!

What Not To Do or Say On A Date

 

The famous segment is back! You can check out the previous segments here.

Let's jump right in, shall we?

Clearly I've been out of the dating world for two years. I forgot how rough it is out there.

I met this guy at work. I work in one department and he works in another. We have very little contact but when I do see him, he's always nice and we have friendly/flirty banter. We exchanged numbers and had been texting back and forth a lot for a few weeks. We decided to finally hang out. The day was set and started off right.

He showed up early.

He paid for the meal.

Then something unexpected happened... he says, "I think you're special."

Um... what the heck? It was so out of left field, I didn't know what to say. I wasn't completely sure what he meant so my instant reaction was, "Like short bus special?"

He clarified and said, "No. Special as in I don't meet people like you everyday special."

I was pretty excited about this. That was a really nice thing to say.

So the evening ended and he calls me on his way home and sets up a second date. We agree to meet 3 days later for dinner.

Well kids... 3 days later came and went and he fell off the face of the earth. No cancel phone call or text. I was completely stood up. *Let that sink in*

I had never been stood up in my life.

Talk about awkward first sighting at work. Dude literally saw me and turned around and went back through the door he had just came in. He later apologized and said he had "family issues" going on BUT last time I checked this was 2013 and it takes about 2.5 seconds to send a I have to cancel text. I mean really if you are a grown adult over the age of 20 you need to send a cancel text at the bare minimum. I don't care if you've got a death in the family, have the poops, just feel plain lazy and don't want to go out or even meet the love of your life in the meantime... you always send a cancel text. I think the only time it would be OK not to see a cancel text is if you're in jail and if that's the case then I wouldn't want to date you anyways! Grow up! Grab your balls and just send it.

What Not to say/do on a date Part 13

It's backkkkkkk! That's right What Not to Say/Do on a Date is back! 

It's been awhile but it's making an appearance again! Good for you, but bad for me! Why? because I'm the one who's been on all of these horrible/bad/awkward dates. Every single one of them. If you've missed any of the previous editions, you can find them here. 

Today's latest edition comes thanks to a person who's given me material for a previous edition. If you want to read the whole story you can but the end point being was that he told me he, "didn't even like me as a human being." Oh yeah, he said it! 

So how does this guy come back into my life? Well let me explain it to you. Last week I'm going about my work day and I feel my phone vibrate. It's a text and I don't recognize the number. I'll admit it, I screen my calls and texts like it's my full time job. So I get this text and the number looks kinda familiar. It's got my local area code and the first few digits look like it's a friend of mines that I just haven't saved in my phone. 

I responded with the casual, "Oh hey!" with a quick second message saying the person's name who I thought it was with a question mark behind it. Then it comes, "Um sure if that's what you want my name to be." Immediately I knew that it wasn't my friend so I of course lied and said, "Oh I'm sorry my iphone has went crazy recently and my contacts got messed up. Who is this?"

Judge all you want but you know you'd do the same! Because if it was a real friend who would have already have got ahold of them to make sure you had their number but some of those fair weather, don't see all the time people... well I just don't save their digits. Or hello, it could be a crazy stalker who's been sitting outside of my house and prays to a self made shrine to me at night. 

And then the other shoe dropped and he told me his name. OH MY GOD! Are you kidding me? That was my first initial shock. Then the second shock thought came of he still has my number?!? We haven't spoke for let's count them.... 8 months. I could have almost had a kid in that time. That's a long time! So then we started texting back and forth because frankly my interest were peaked. Why get a hold of me after the horrible things he last said to me? This is basically how the texts went....

Me: (right after he revealed who he was to me) Ohhhh....hey. What's up? (because I was raised to be nice and at least be courtesy) 

Him: Nothing much, I saw you in December when I dropped my cousin off at (my workplace) but I decided not approach you. 

For the record I saw him that day as well but didn't even budge or think about approaching him to speak to him. I was working and well frankly... just... no. 

Then he made a peace offering.

Him: I feel bad how I set you up last time with that ghostbusters song. He quoted a bobby brown song to me tell me that I was too cold to handle etc.. it was really rude. 

He then goes on to tell me that he's sorry for being a major ahole. I accept his apology and I think we move on to possibly being friends and that's when he says it...

"You are very outspoken which isn't always a good thing."

Really?!? This is coming from the guy who told me that he didn't even like me as a human being. Pot... meet kettle. So note to everyone, when trying to apologize and make contact with someone after months of nothingness.... Don't keep making jabs.

What Not to say/do on a date Part 12

That's right, What Not to Say/Do on a Date is back! If you've missed any of the earlier editions they can be found here. 

Before I tell you about my most recent date, I want to go ahead and answer my most frequently asked question when it comes to these segments. Have all of these dates happened to you? YES! Yes, they have. I've changed the names to protect the dates but all of the events in them have happened to me on my personal dates. Now on to the date.....

If you remember in my last edition of What Not to Say/Do on a Date, I mention the date that never was. I had been somewhat fixed up by a co-worker and the guy seemed pretty uninterested. Well all of that changed this past week. 

On Wednesday I got a call from said co-worker telling me that the dude wanted me to call him. If you know my co-worker, he won't give out people's numbers. He just won't. So I said alright and he passed his number along to me. I didn't really want to call the guy because hello, he snubbed me at our initial meeting. So for me to call him up out of the blue did not seem appealing to me. However my interest was sparked since apparently he had told my co-worker to have me get ahold of him. So I did the easiest thing. I sent him a text. 

I got NO response. I was annoyed and done. Turns out I texted the wrong number, oops. So I just called him, got voicemail, left a message. To my surprise the guy called me back within 10 minutes and we set up a hang out/date. The date rolls around and it's going great. The first hour we're having great conversation. Things are clicking and we're getting along. Then it happens. He drops the question, 

So what are you looking for?  

I hate this question. No matter what someone says, it's awkward. If you're a girl and say, "Oh I'm looking for a relationship" well then that turns you into a needy girl who instantly wants to get married. If you say, "I'm just looking to go out and have fun." well then you become an easy hoe that can be used. No matter what, this question is a land mine! 

He answered his own question before I could even respond. He doesn't want to be in a relationship and he isn't looking. Um... ok that's great. BUT why go out on a date? Awkward. 

I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed because he seems to be a really nice guy. Obviously, he's honest.

What Not to say/do on a date Part 11

Welcome to another installment of, What Not to Say/Do on a Date! If you've missed any of the other segments on my horribly bad dates, you can find them here. 

So this story is going to be a little bit different from all the rest.... This past weekend, I attended a party for one of my coworkers. They were having a bonfire out in the country and when I say country, it took me 45 minutes to drive there from my house and I almost got stuck on an uphill gravel road. Let's just say that my tires, on my poor little Kia Spectra were spinning their hearts content out trying to get up it. 

So when a group of us (who rode in my car) finally got there, introductions were made and food and drinks were offered up. Since there was good number of people there a few people never got introduced to one another. Well I'm getting a drink and my coworker came over to introduce me to his neighbor. Instantly my heart went into my stomach....

This neighbor is someone my coworker has been trying to set me up with for at least 2 months now. What's happened is he'll tell me a little bit about him, go and talk to his neighbor and do the same and then tell us each other what's been said. Confused? Yeah me too and I'm even involved in the situation. So this was it, we were finally coming face to face. I had heard endless conversations about him and him about me. Coworker makes the introduction and then nothing. It was a party so I didn't think anything of it. 

Later in the night, we ended up standing side by side and I struck up a conversation with him. He literally pretended like he had no idea who I was. It was as if  he was just finding out that I existed in the universe. Seriously? I knew that the coworker had been talking about me. He sure had been telling me tons of things about him! So I automatically assumed that he just wasn't interested in me and this was his way of letting me know. 

Let's just say the conversation was rough. It became like one of those moments where you're sitting in the dentist chair and you know the silence is inevitable. I ended up leaving with the group I came with shortly afterwards and felt like complete crap. I had even curled my hair and put on make up... only to get shot down. So I'm guessing this is the date that will never be....

What Not to say/do on a date Part 10

That's right! It's back! I haven't posted one of these since June and this one is more than worthy of sharing. If you've missed any of the previous segments, you can find them here. I might add that yes... all of these awful and horrible things have happened to me while being on dates. 

This summer my friends and I were fortunate enough to be able to all gather and head out to the lake together. The first time we were at the lake together I was in a relationship and was only looking to have a good time with friends. While there I came across this cute guy who was working at the docks. I didn't think anything of it except the fact that he was cute. Once we left the lake that day, he never entered my thoughts again. 

Flash forward to the end of the summer and my friends and I head out to the lake again. This time, the only difference was that I was single. And guess who we saw?!? Yep, that's right the same cute guy from before. 

All day we were out on the boat, had a good time and as we came back to the docks there he was again. One of my best friends, Kristin, God love her instantly started grilling him with questions. Yelling them from the boat.  

Kristin: "Hey! Are you single?"

Dude: "Yeah."

Kristin: "Well remember our friend that was with us last time? She's single but she doesn't live in town. And then there's our friend here who's single."

Dude: "Um...ok"

Kristin:"You got a car?"

Dude:" Yes..."

At this point she looks at me and goes, "He has a job, a car and he's single. There ya go"

I think my face was 5 shades of red. We get off the boat and I proceed to go change. Kristin stayed behind and gave him my number. Later that night, the lake guy starts texting me. At first I thought it was funny and then the bombs started dropping. 

First of all he was 22. I'm 26. 

Second, he's 22 with 3 kids under the age of 3.

Third, he had the worst grammar and spelling I've ever seen in my life. (yes, I judge people on their spelling). 

So moral of this story, do not yell from a boat at a random guy that your friend thinks is cute. You'll get more surprises that you though you would. 

What Not to say/do on a date Part 9

That's right folks! It's been a looooong time since I've done one of these BUT yesterday was a dooozie and I couldn't help but share. 

If you've missed out on any of the previous editions of What not to say/do on a date then you can catch up with them here. I might add that yes... all of these awful and horrible things have happened to me while being on dates. 

So this edition is a conversation that has now came back to haunt me! Protect your jaw, because it will be falling towards the floor in a minute....

Him: "I don't like you."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Him: "I do not like you"

Me: "Um, ok."

Him:" I don't even like you as a human being."

Me: "Wow! Tell me how you really feel."

So that lovely conversation took place awhile ago. However, the same person who said such things tried to be nice to me the other day. Um... news flash. By telling someone that you don't even like them as a human being, you burn a bridge. There's no bouncing back from that. Think before you speak....

What Not to say/do on a date Part 8

That's right everyone! It's back! 

If you've missed any of the previous editions you can find them here. 

This date actually happened with someone who I had been in a relationship with for awhile. We were out to dinner and we were sitting across from each other at the table. I'm not one of those let's sit on the same side of the booth type girls when it's just the two of us. Anyways, we're sitting there waiting on our food, making general chit chat about our days and what not. The previous week I had my hair highlighted. Out of no where he says:

Him: "So are your eye brows suppose to be that dark?"

Me: "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Him: "Well you got your hair highlighted but your eye brows are still dark. That seems odd. Don't most girls dye them as well?"

Me: "Maybe, but it's not like I went platinum or have black eyebrows."

Him: "Well I think they look weird."

Me: "And this is coming from a man who has a unibrow..."

We broke up not too long after that. 

What Not to say/do on a date Valentine's Edition

Normally in these segments I would tell you about the awful horrendous bad dates that I've had the fork in the eye privilege of going out on. However, this time I'm going to tell you about one of the best dates I've ever went on. 

It took place at the Newport Aquarium. 

Now if you know anything about me you know that I love tropical fish and sea turtles so this place was right up my alley. Neither my date nor I had ever been to this particular aquarium so we were both really excited. We went on a weekday so it wasn't crowded at all. 

We got to walk around, holding hands all the while being surrounded by beautiful sea creatures. While we were there we got to see....

the diving show

The penguins swimming and walking around

and they even had alligators! When one of the alligators moved (which I didn't know was sitting there) I jumped about 3 feet in the air. I'm pretty for sure I left the boy with a permanent bruise on his hand from squeezing it so tight. 

I think what made the date one of my best was the fact that we could walk around together and just talk. We laughed and smiled and got to really enjoy each others company. After we left the aquarium we hit up some of the shops that surround it, including the giant Barnes & Noble.

It was and always will be one of my most memorable and fun dates ever. 

What Not to say/do on a date Part 7

If you've missed any of the previous segments, they can be found here. Also, I had someone ask me if these are stories I've heard. Um no! These all happened to me! They are dates that I have gone on.

This week's What Not to say/do on a Date actually took place on a 3rd date. 

The guy and I had known each other for awhile but had lost touch over the years. We came back into contact and ending up going out on a date. It was so nice that we made plans for a second one. The first 2 dates consisted of things like going out to dinner, going to the movies and shopping. 

On the first date he met me at my house and we rode together. The second date I drove to his house and picked him up. When I got there he was already waiting outside on me. We went on the 2nd date and it ended great. 

Now here comes the 3rd date. We decided to go see a movie and that I would swing by and pick him up. When I go to pick someone up or when I'm going over to someone's house I have a tendency to call them and let them know I'm almost there. I figure everyone likes a few minutes notice to be ready. On the way over, I made the call letting him know I was almost there. When I pulled up to his house he was outside waiting like how he had been the last time I picked him up. I didn't think anything of it. I figured with the phone call that he'd just decided to go ahead and come outside. 

So... we end up going out to eat and not to a movie. During dinner, he asks me if I'd like to come back to his house and watch a movie instead of going to the theater. I said yes, thinking that it would be great to spend some time with him without 50 other people surrounding us. Once we finished dinner, we headed over to his house. I parked outside of his garage and we walked in. 

As soon as I walk in there's a lady standing there looking at me. I thought, Um...did we just walk into someone robbing you? 

Turns out he lived with his mother and failed to mention that.... 

For future reference guys...you might want to tell your date that even though you're a successful, working adult,  you live at home with mommy before you bring your date home.

What Not to say/do on a date Part 6

Welcome to another edition of What Not to say/do on a Date. If you've missed any of the other editions you can find them here. 

This unforgettable first date happened at Uno's. If you've ever been to Uno's then you're going to know what I'm talking about. For those of you who haven't I'll explain it. At Uno's they have some booths that are made for 2 people only. Each side of the booth is only big enough for 1 person and that table in between isn't that big. Basically, it's a more intimate setting. 

The first date and I get seated at one of these booths. I had never been out on a date with this guy. We had mutual friends and had been set up by one. I had seen him around town and vise versa. I knew before the date what his profession was but to continue the chit chat I asked him about it. 

Me: "So I hear you're a police officer. That must be an exciting job."

Him: "Yeah sometimes it can be."

Me: "I'm sure you come in contact with all different kinds of people."

Him: "Oh yeah. Last summer I shot this guy and killed him. I had to sit with his body until the paramedics got there."

My instant thoughts:

Ummm......did you just throw out the fact that you shot someone and that they died?!?!

I understood that it's his job to do whatever needs to be done. However, I didn't feel that was something you should probably say on a first date and within the first 10 mins of said date. 

What Not to say/do on a date Part 5

Incase you've missed any of the previous "What Not to say/do on a date", you can check them out here.

For this installment you'll need to think back to the year 2002. That year, the movie 8 Mile came out in theaters featuring the life story of Eminem. I did not see it that year and probably for good reason. However, it would haunt me later. Now flash forward 3 years forward....2005.

I had just begun my final fall semester of college. I was on a 2nd date/hang out. I had invited the guy over to my apartment to hang out and watch a movie. We'd been friends for awhile and things were starting to transition over to a more bf/gf vibe. At this point, the most we'd ever done was hold hands or hug. So I figured with this being our 2nd official hang out/date that I'd get a first kiss. 

He came over for the date and somehow we ended up watching the movie 8 Mile. The next 2 hours, we sat there watching the gritty streets of Detroit, men fighting, rapping, doing drugs and being poor. He never made a move. Let me go on the record now as to say that 8 Mile could possibly be the worst movie ever if you're hoping to get a first kiss during or after. So moms or future moms out there.....don't want your son or daughter making out during a movie date? Pop in 8 Mile. It'll do the trick. 

What not to say/do on a date Part 4

Incase you've missed out on the last 3 parts of this new segment I'm doing just look under my labels for "What not to do on a date." 

Out of all the dates I've been on, this one ranks right up there in the, "Oh my god, how can I get out of here as fast as I can" kind of dates. I should have known it wasn't going to be a great date because it was a blind date (my one and only blind date that I will ever go on). A mutual friend set up the date and we met at the restaurant, Uno's. 

As soon as I see the guy, my instant thought was, "Oh, he's cute!" We started talking, while waiting on our table and the conversation seemed nice. We sit down at our table and the waitress comes. It was in the late evening around 9p.m. so I decided to get a drink. I ordered, presented the waitress with my i.d. and then he placed his drink order...a water. 

At first I didn't think anything about it. I thought, maybe he just didn't want a drink. My drink comes and I can see he's staring at it. So I ask him.

Me: "Did you not want a drink?" I was confused. It seemed like he did.

Him: "They won't serve me."

Me: Now I'm very confused. "What do you mean they won't serve you?"

Him: "I'm only 19 years old."

Ooooooh My Goooodnesssss. My 27 year old male friend, hooked me up on a blind date with a 19 year old?!?! At the time, I was 24 years old! I got through that dinner as fast as I could. The age difference was way too much. He didn't even remember watching School house rocks. 

What not to say/do on a date Part 3

If you missed the first 2 installments of this look under the labels tag "What not to do on a date."

A long long time ago, in a far far land...haha, ok you caught me! It wasn't that long ago nor was it far. It took place in my hometown. I was out on a date with this guy and we were having a really nice time. We had went out to eat and then ended up taking a walk in the local rose garden. It went over great. After our walk, we got back in his truck and he proceeded to take me home. 

During the ride back, I heard this random noise, I wasn't really paying attention. I was looking out the windows, listening to the radio, etc. Well I heard it again. This time I looked over at my date and he was looking back and me with this really strange face. He goes, "I'm sorry." I was a little confused. Then he goes, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" and proceeds to roll down his window. 

That's right kiddo's...you might have guessed it....he farted!

So then I'm like um ok....this is a little uncomfortable but I was going to play it off. No big deal everyone farts. Um...surprise! Guess what!? 

This dude continued to fart, loudly the entire rest of the way home. I never got out of a car so fast in my life!

What not to say/do on a date Part 2

If you missed the first "What not to say/do on a date", check it out here.

I can't remember exactly when this story took place but I know it was sometime during August or September because it was a fall month. Anyways....

I had been talking to this guy for over a month and we had already been out on 1 date. This was our second date. He earned the 2nd date because the first one went great. Things were looking promising and he seemed to be a really nice guy. He had a great sense of humor, was goal oriented, good looking, etc. 

So we head out on our 2nd date, where we went to Chili's for dinner. When we got there, they had a small 15 minute wait, which we opted to do. We occupied the time with chit chat and enjoyed the nice weather outside. Our table holder lit up and we were off to eat. Once we sat down at our table the waitress came to get our drink orders. We placed the order and started to look over the menus for our meal. 

We had been having a normal conversation but paused to look at the menus. When I looked up from my menu he was staring back at me. I smiled at him like normal. He smiled back at me and said, "So, do you wanna get a hotel tonight?"

Umm.... excuse you?

I know I must have been dreaming so I said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" but I'm sure the look on my face was priceless.

He says, "What? I said a hotel...not a motel." Like I should have been privileged by the offer.

At this point I thought he was joking (remember I said he had a great sense of humor). Um no. I quickly learned that he was being completely serious. He went into the reasons why I should go with him. Guess what? That date ended really quickly and it never involved a hotel or a motel.

What not to say on a date

The last few years I've been blessed to go on some really great dates. However, that wasn't always the case. Back in my days of dating, post high school I went on some horrendous dates. I mean really bad dates! Here's an example of one:

My 3rd year of college, I had met this really nice guy in one of my classes. We ended up being in multiple classes together throughout the year and actually became friends. The school year ended and over the summer we continued to stay in contact. When my 4th year of college started, we were still talking non stop. We decided to actually go out on a date. It was actually really nice. 

I had moved into a new place with some fellow sorority sisters and decided to invite him over to watch a movie and hang out. By this point we had gone on a few dates and it felt like we were "dating". 

He came over to the apartment and we ended up watching the movie 8 mile. Haha, yes I know, very bad movie choice. During the whole movie I could tell he was trying to make little moves but didn't really know if he should. At the end of the movie we ended up talking. During our conversation the frustration of not knowing what we were came out: "I need to know what we're doing because I have other options!"

Um...boys and girls. Never, ever say that to someone. That's a date killer and a relationship ender. Wouldn't you agree?