Creepers Gonna Creep

Riddle me this: How many times in a day can creepers come out of the wood work to hit on a person? And why is that anytime you're single no one approaches you but when you're with someone you have to beat them away with a stick? 

Well at least one answer to that question is....three.

Creeper #1:

It wasn't raining so I decided to go outside and clean out my car. Little did I know that a high traffic road one block over my house was having construction done on it and all the traffic was being directed down my block. Whatever, so I start cleaning out my car and complete it. Then I move to the dash, where I start cleaning it down with the leather wipes. 

I've got my windows down because it was warm and I didn't want to smother. No biggie. Then I see a giant white blog out of the corner of my eye and realize that a truck is just sitting there, in the road and that the driver is just staring at me. Like full on stare. Um... creepy. Then he says it, "You wipe that dash girl."

Creeper 2:

I'm mowing my lawn and it's been over a week since I'd last cut it, with the rain it's grown a lot. My backyard has a small uphill slant so it's kinda rough to mow. So I'm struggling to get it done and I hear over my mower someone trying to get my attention. So I look up and see this dude standing there in khaki shorts riding gangster low, with a white wife beater top that no longer looks white is now a shade of yellow, wearing some G hat, half backwards. And this is what he says to me, " What's up baby girl? Looks like you're having a hard time there, you want me to finish it?"

Well of course at this point, I'm completely creeped out and wanted him to get away from my fence. I politely said no thank you and that it was own fault that I let the grass get that high. I tried to be nice thinking he would take the NO for an answer and that he'd walk away. WRONG! He then says, "So you gotta old man or what?" Um... creepy. Get the hell away from my fence and move along. Now I have to move...

Creeper #3:

So it's evening now and I've already been creeped on by two people. I think I've tapped out on the weird for the day. Wrong. I'm driving to pick up my friend and I have my window half down. I'm going about 45-50mph and I hear someone honking. I think ok maybe I know the people and look over. There's literally a dude hanging out the passenger window of a car, giving me the phone/call me hand. When I start laughing at first because of the whole weird day that I'm having he then starts to raise his shirt and flash me a nipple! 

At that point I rolled up the window and never gave them another glance. Creepy!

So have you ever had a creep tastic day? 

The Never Ever List

Remeber that episode of Friends where Ross pulls out his list of 5 celebrities that he would get a free pass to sleep with no matter what? Well I've seen a few people on blogs making lists of guys that they would never be with so I thought I would join in on the fun.

My list of 5 guys that I would. Incase you missed it many months ago.

My never, ever list.
1. Orlando Bloom

Every time I see him in movies, magazines or on the internet, he looks dirty. Like doesn't take a bath or wash his hair dirty. I mean, I'll give him a little slack since he has a new born. But come on... he was looking like that before the baby was even created.

2. Russell Brand

Maybe it's the fact that he goes on and on about his past drug use (major turn off) but he seems sleezy and easy to me. I think he's pretty funny though.

3. Billy Bob Thornton

Two words: Blood Vile. Another two words: Angelina Jolie. Enough said.

4. Brad Pitt

Have you seen that mange he has growing on his face? Would it kill him to clean it up and wash his hair?!? I've never though he was cute and his later years are confirming my decision. Plus the fact that he cheated (I don't care what he claims and when he said that relationship began) on Jennifer Anniston. Stop pro-creating.

5. Jon Gosslin

Let's forget the fact that he has 8 children. Let's even look over the fact that he's a chain smoker. What we can't look over his is his love for all things Ed Hardy. That my friends can not be over looked.

The Absolute Truth

If you're interested in a guy but he's not calling, texting, tweeting, facebooking or e-mailing you... then chances are he's just not into you. 

I don't care if people say that he's shy or really busy. If he likes you or he's at least interested then he'd find a spare second to reach out to you. What the silence really says, is...

I firmly stand by all of these beliefs. 

I Deserve...

I deserve to be happy. 

I deserve to get flowers, candy and other gifts of affection. 

I deserve to be wanted. 

I deserve for someone to want my company.

I deserve to be cared about. 

I deserve a relationship. 

I deserve to be liked/loved. 

I deserve the fantasy. 

I deserve to be treated with respect and care.

I deserve to have someone who's going to always be in my corner.

I deserve the truth. 

I deserve all of it. 

I don't deserve to be treated 2nd best. 

I don't deserve to be treated like an after thought.

I don't deserve to be treated like an option.

It's going to take someone really special for me to change my relationship status to taken.

What Not to say/do on a date Part 13

It's backkkkkkk! That's right What Not to Say/Do on a Date is back! 

It's been awhile but it's making an appearance again! Good for you, but bad for me! Why? because I'm the one who's been on all of these horrible/bad/awkward dates. Every single one of them. If you've missed any of the previous editions, you can find them here. 

Today's latest edition comes thanks to a person who's given me material for a previous edition. If you want to read the whole story you can but the end point being was that he told me he, "didn't even like me as a human being." Oh yeah, he said it! 

So how does this guy come back into my life? Well let me explain it to you. Last week I'm going about my work day and I feel my phone vibrate. It's a text and I don't recognize the number. I'll admit it, I screen my calls and texts like it's my full time job. So I get this text and the number looks kinda familiar. It's got my local area code and the first few digits look like it's a friend of mines that I just haven't saved in my phone. 

I responded with the casual, "Oh hey!" with a quick second message saying the person's name who I thought it was with a question mark behind it. Then it comes, "Um sure if that's what you want my name to be." Immediately I knew that it wasn't my friend so I of course lied and said, "Oh I'm sorry my iphone has went crazy recently and my contacts got messed up. Who is this?"

Judge all you want but you know you'd do the same! Because if it was a real friend who would have already have got ahold of them to make sure you had their number but some of those fair weather, don't see all the time people... well I just don't save their digits. Or hello, it could be a crazy stalker who's been sitting outside of my house and prays to a self made shrine to me at night. 

And then the other shoe dropped and he told me his name. OH MY GOD! Are you kidding me? That was my first initial shock. Then the second shock thought came of he still has my number?!? We haven't spoke for let's count them.... 8 months. I could have almost had a kid in that time. That's a long time! So then we started texting back and forth because frankly my interest were peaked. Why get a hold of me after the horrible things he last said to me? This is basically how the texts went....

Me: (right after he revealed who he was to me) Ohhhh....hey. What's up? (because I was raised to be nice and at least be courtesy) 

Him: Nothing much, I saw you in December when I dropped my cousin off at (my workplace) but I decided not approach you. 

For the record I saw him that day as well but didn't even budge or think about approaching him to speak to him. I was working and well frankly... just... no. 

Then he made a peace offering.

Him: I feel bad how I set you up last time with that ghostbusters song. He quoted a bobby brown song to me tell me that I was too cold to handle etc.. it was really rude. 

He then goes on to tell me that he's sorry for being a major ahole. I accept his apology and I think we move on to possibly being friends and that's when he says it...

"You are very outspoken which isn't always a good thing."

Really?!? This is coming from the guy who told me that he didn't even like me as a human being. Pot... meet kettle. So note to everyone, when trying to apologize and make contact with someone after months of nothingness.... Don't keep making jabs.

A Big Ole' Boycott

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

(The Donald feels my pain)

With Valentines Day on the horizon, I keep seeing everyone talk about love and this years upcoming Valentines. Well I say, BLAH! I don't think I've ever had one memorable, earth shattering Valentines day. For real. I'm really thinking back here and coming up with all bad Valentines Day memories. Let's recap a few shall we? We shall...

The 1st eventful Valentines day that I can actually remember, I was in 7th grade. I went to a private christian academy for middle school and they were holding a dinner for couples. Well a boy who by the way was at least in 9th grade (the school was all grades) asked me to go. I got ready, we went and from what I can remember I found the person sitting next to me more interesting than my actual date. The one photo that was taken was over exposed so I didn't even get a keepsake from the night. FAIL

The 2nd eventful Valentines day was a few years ago. Myself and two other girls spent it together. We got dressed up and the plan was to go to dinner and then head to a dance place. Well one person took forever and when I say forever I mean like foreverrrr (think the Sandlot) to get ready. Needless to say we ended up at a fast food joint because by the time we went to every restaurant the wait was 2 hours. Plus someone couldn't wait to go dancing. The night dragged on and all I wanted to do was go to sleep and go home. FAIL

The 3rd Valentines day massacre came when I was in a serious relationship. I curled my hair (not an easy task), we went out to eat and then he wanted to go to some pool table place. Well it turns out he didn't want there to play pool it was because they were having some kind of girls performance there. I can't remember what it was but it was along the lines of a wet t-shirt contest. Well I found this out about midway through the evening and was livid. I got my coat, walked out and started walking home. Only after his friend (who had shown up) told him it probably wasn't the greatest idea that I walk home alone, did he follow. Gosh, he was such a loser. FAIL

And finally for my last night Valentines Day memory nightmare lane, the fact that I can't remember at all what I did this time last year for the "holiday". I was single by then so who knows. I probably worked and then came home to my pajamas and watched tv. FAIL

This year on Valentines Day I won't be working but... I have no plans, no valentine and no motivation. I think that calls for a boycott. 

Game, Set, Match

Yesterday something occurred which caused me to stop, smile, laugh and then over analyze the crap out of it.

Remember the last guy I talked about on my What Not to Say/Do on a Date segments? If not, here is the story. Let's just say that after that "date", I had expected to never hear from him again. Well Monday afternoon rolls around and I hear my phone beep. I had a text message. I grab my phone and I see that it's him. Hmm... this is interesting.

He's asking me how my Christmas went. Game. I play into whatever game is now started and tell him how my Christmas went. I'm not completely rude and I have no reason to hate the guy (I actually think he's pretty nice). I ask him how his holiday went and he tells me. Then he asks me if I'd like to hang out that night. Say what?

I was working overtime that day so I tell him that I'm not getting off till the late evening and that if he wanted to hang out it couldn't be until later in the evening. He tells me that's fine and that I could just come over and hang out. Set.

I agree to the time and place and tell him that I'll see him later that night.

Literally 2 hours later, I get another message from him telling me that he has to cancel. That something came up for work and that he has to travel two hours to get the problem fixed. He also tells me in the text that maybe we can hang out when he gets back (not that night but another time). Match.

At first I didn't think anything about it. So ok, maybe he was bored, lonely, whatever and wanted to have someone to hang out with and thought of me. Sure that's fine and honestly maybe something really did come up. BUT what if it was all a game? Maybe after our last hang out, the fact that I never called him, never texted him, never had any contact what so ever made him feel like he was off his game.

So now I started to wonder, did he ask me to hang out just to see if I'd say yes and really had no plans of us actually hanging out? Well if so, then I clap my hands to him that's a great Game, Set, Match.

I REFUSE to Settle

I refuse to settle. It's as simple as that. 

I'm 26 years old, unmarried, no children and single. Does that make me sad? No... ok sometimes. Do I want to get married one day and have children? Yes. But I refuse to settle for anything less than what I want and deserve. The majority of my friends are either married, have kids, having kids or engaged. Then there's me. I only notice my single hood when we're at gatherings. Or...

When I'm sitting at home alone watching the Sex and the City Movie. Realizing that the holidays are fast approaching and that the only people that I'll be seeing this season are coupled up. Can someone tell me, did I miss the memo? Everyone is walking two by two. When did this become Noah's arc? Well I'm still rocking the single title. 

I'm independent. I love to travel. I refuse to depend on anyone else for money or my livelihood. When a guy comes along that is equally independent, travels the world, has a job and doesn't depend on anyone else financially then my head will really turn. Until then these are a few things I'm wanting in a man. And of course I threw in some guys that I think are handsome...

 

I want a man who's rough, who goes a day without shaving because he's busy working. I want a man who can change a flat tire and check the oil in my car. Who can be handy around the house and can make me feel safe no matter where I'm at. I want a man who's honest, fair, loving and truthful. I want a man who wants to be with one woman forever and ever. I want a man who doesn't need to be on his iphone 24/7. I want a man who can love sports but will be happy to go ice skating with me in the winter. I want a man who loves to travel and be adventurous. 

I want a man who doesn't go out to the bar each weekends and still behaves like he's in college. I want a man who doesn't "sext" (sex text). I want a man who will hold my hand in public and open doors for me. I want a man who can laugh and laugh at himself. Who is content to sit at home and watch a movie on a Friday night. A man who wears pj pants around the house with slippers on cold nights. Who sends flowers without a reason.

 

Is that too much to ask for? Sometimes I wonder. I've lost a lot of faith recently in guys but I guess I just have to believe that he's out there and waiting to be found. Who knows, you never know what tomorrow may bring. So.. if you see me this holiday season at a party come over and say hello and introduce me to your single friends. HA! 

What Not to say/do on a date Part 11

Welcome to another installment of, What Not to Say/Do on a Date! If you've missed any of the other segments on my horribly bad dates, you can find them here. 

So this story is going to be a little bit different from all the rest.... This past weekend, I attended a party for one of my coworkers. They were having a bonfire out in the country and when I say country, it took me 45 minutes to drive there from my house and I almost got stuck on an uphill gravel road. Let's just say that my tires, on my poor little Kia Spectra were spinning their hearts content out trying to get up it. 

So when a group of us (who rode in my car) finally got there, introductions were made and food and drinks were offered up. Since there was good number of people there a few people never got introduced to one another. Well I'm getting a drink and my coworker came over to introduce me to his neighbor. Instantly my heart went into my stomach....

This neighbor is someone my coworker has been trying to set me up with for at least 2 months now. What's happened is he'll tell me a little bit about him, go and talk to his neighbor and do the same and then tell us each other what's been said. Confused? Yeah me too and I'm even involved in the situation. So this was it, we were finally coming face to face. I had heard endless conversations about him and him about me. Coworker makes the introduction and then nothing. It was a party so I didn't think anything of it. 

Later in the night, we ended up standing side by side and I struck up a conversation with him. He literally pretended like he had no idea who I was. It was as if  he was just finding out that I existed in the universe. Seriously? I knew that the coworker had been talking about me. He sure had been telling me tons of things about him! So I automatically assumed that he just wasn't interested in me and this was his way of letting me know. 

Let's just say the conversation was rough. It became like one of those moments where you're sitting in the dentist chair and you know the silence is inevitable. I ended up leaving with the group I came with shortly afterwards and felt like complete crap. I had even curled my hair and put on make up... only to get shot down. So I'm guessing this is the date that will never be....

What Not to say/do on a date Part 10

That's right! It's back! I haven't posted one of these since June and this one is more than worthy of sharing. If you've missed any of the previous segments, you can find them here. I might add that yes... all of these awful and horrible things have happened to me while being on dates. 

This summer my friends and I were fortunate enough to be able to all gather and head out to the lake together. The first time we were at the lake together I was in a relationship and was only looking to have a good time with friends. While there I came across this cute guy who was working at the docks. I didn't think anything of it except the fact that he was cute. Once we left the lake that day, he never entered my thoughts again. 

Flash forward to the end of the summer and my friends and I head out to the lake again. This time, the only difference was that I was single. And guess who we saw?!? Yep, that's right the same cute guy from before. 

All day we were out on the boat, had a good time and as we came back to the docks there he was again. One of my best friends, Kristin, God love her instantly started grilling him with questions. Yelling them from the boat.  

Kristin: "Hey! Are you single?"

Dude: "Yeah."

Kristin: "Well remember our friend that was with us last time? She's single but she doesn't live in town. And then there's our friend here who's single."

Dude: "Um...ok"

Kristin:"You got a car?"

Dude:" Yes..."

At this point she looks at me and goes, "He has a job, a car and he's single. There ya go"

I think my face was 5 shades of red. We get off the boat and I proceed to go change. Kristin stayed behind and gave him my number. Later that night, the lake guy starts texting me. At first I thought it was funny and then the bombs started dropping. 

First of all he was 22. I'm 26. 

Second, he's 22 with 3 kids under the age of 3.

Third, he had the worst grammar and spelling I've ever seen in my life. (yes, I judge people on their spelling). 

So moral of this story, do not yell from a boat at a random guy that your friend thinks is cute. You'll get more surprises that you though you would. 

3..2..1...Meltdown

Honestly, I feel like I've become Daria. No joke. I'm lacking in serious motivation right now. I'm so over everything. I want so many different things right now, I feel like I can't think straight. I feel like I'm sinking in things that I need to do. All of my friends have moved away. I have a stack of books 22 deep that need to be read. My dvr is almost at full capacity. My google reader number is slowly getting higher and higher. My work schedule is getting chaotic.  

This time last year I had at least half of my Christmas shopping done. This year... I've bought 2 things so far. This time last year I said I wanted to have all my credit cards (5) paid off and my car loan almost repaid. Um... yeah, I owe on 3 more cards and still have my loan. Granted I've paid off 2 cards and another one is almost done. The car loan... yeah I'll make that a carry over goal. 

I'm frustrated too because I feel like I've lost apart of my nerve. There's this gorgeous guy... he's adorable. If I could pick my jaw up off the floor, I might actually try to talk to him. However, his amazingly good looks, perfect personality and built physique intimidate me. Frankly, I think he's out of my league so before I even speak, I think why bother why would he be interested in me. 

Not to mention, I'm over the summer and ready for it to be fall. I'm tired of sweating all.day.long. Even with the air blasting, I'm sweating. I have never sweated this much in my life. I'm tired of pitting through every shirt that I wear, no matter how much deodorant I've put on. 

Finally, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, so far is all hype. I'm on page 50 and it's boring. I still don't get why they're making a movie out of it. I'm hoping it gets better... Tomorrow is a new day!

Hello Hottie!

Sundays, Wednesdays and Thursdays have become my favorite days of the week since the start of.... Big Brother!

I can't help it! I love it. I watch it every summer and into the fall. This year my favorite is definitely the hunk, Lane. 

I mean seriously people, he is a HOTTIE. He's hilarious too! You lucky ladies that live in the DFW area of Texas, count your lucky stars. Maybe I should move there? Where there's one hottie, there's always more. 

From what I've seen, he's the man of my dreams. Cute, successful, down to earth and funny! Hey lane when you get out of the house, call me. Haha!

Have you been watching? Who do you want to win it? I think it's safe to say I'm rooting for Lane. If you've seen my tweets then you're already aware of my big brother obsession! 

The One Where I Open Up

So this is the post where I open up and talk about my personal life. So here it goes... Be warned I thought about titling this post "The One Where I'm Pathetic."

First of all, I'm single... I did what was right for me. I'm not going to get into all of it but I think when you come out feeling that way then it was definitely the best decision. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and more set in my ways but over the last year, I've realized more and more what I do and do not want from a partner/relationship. They say you do get wiser with old age. 

I started talking to one of my friends this weekend about everything and she asked if it had anything to do with ghosts of boyfriends past. Well... I'm pretty for sure that's playing a part. Actually, if I'm being really honest it's played a big part. I don't know what it is. I compare everyone to this one guy. Lately, I've been thinking about things and wondering. Wondering is never good. Not when it's a situation like this. Not when there's a better chance of the Titanic sailing again than us ever speaking to one another. 

I tried to reach out a few months ago and got nothing in return. Now, that's ok. If he doesn't want to talk to me then there's nothing I can do, I tried. I've accepted that. That doesn't mean that I don't wish things were different. As I said before though, I've found myself wondering and hoping that he's well. No matter what some may think, I honestly wish him well. I loved him, why wouldn't I want him to be happy? However, that doesn't stop me from the what if's. 

I'm such a kid from the 80's.... It was probably all those John Hughes movies but sometimes I hope that I'll look out my window and there he'll be holding up a boom box or even standing on my doorstep. Heck, my little heart would boom with a text. Haha. Right about now, I'm really wishing my best friends lived closer. We're all scattered now and it's hard not having someone to call and say, come over and them be there in 5 minutes. 

Anyways, I'm sure this post made absolutely no sense now and kind of rambled but that's just how I'm feeling. Tomorrow's post will be more upbeat, I promise. 

Keep an eye out you may see these again one day... What Not to Say/Do on a Date 

Dear So & So

Dear Guys, 

Having skid marks on your underwear will not attract the ladies. When you flirt and look all cute, we're still thinking of those skid marks and wondering if you just are not capable of cleaning your butt. Just saying.

Clean your undies. 

Dear Birds, 

I know you just made that long flight back. I get it, I really do but must you make all that noise while it's dark?!? Haven't you heard? You're suppose to be quiet at night! Maybe it's just the locals around but really please be quiet, isn't it enough that you wake me up at the crack of dawn? Must you keep me up at night as well?!?

Shut your traps!

Dear Ex, 

This town isn't big enough for the both of us. You know this, I know this. Hopefully we can coexist in this town without incident for a few more weeks before my departure. Do you have any duct tape because we can draw the lines all over town. Haha, just kidding (kinda).

Find the tylenol.

A First

I've got something super fabulous going on today (that I'll talk about tomorrow) so I thought I'd open up Crazy Shenanigans to a guest. So without further ado, my first post by a guest blogger. Let's all say a hello to, Ms.Random from Random Ramblings. 

Dear Reader(s),

I am so excited to be a guest blogger for Jennifer today! I have had an amazing time getting to know more about her over the past few months and can't believe she would allow me to dominate an entire day on her blog. Thank you, Jennifer!

After discussing a few of the posts I had written to share with my readers over the next couple of weeks, Ms. Crazy and I chose the following to post on her site today. There are times when I am "light and fun," but this particular post is on the more serious side of my life. It involves an ex, a mistake and the desire to overcome!

I have been in a bit of a love-funk over the past several months. (OKay, to be honest, it has actually been going on for longer than I care to think about.) I have only met a handful of men over the past 5 years that I have truly considered being in a romantic relationship with. Some of them became extremely good friends, but none ever sought me out for more. (I don't care to get into the reasons currently.) This "situation" has caused me to wander from the path and pursue relationships that were all wrong for me. (OKay, there I go lying again. I pursued A relationship that was unhealthy.)

In my post on Sunday, I discussed my deepest desire: to be married. Back in August of last year, I lost all hope of this dream every becoming a reality and it caused me to stumble, more like throw, myself into the arms of a man that I should never have trusted. I'm not trying to place the blame on him for my actions in any way; I knew better. We have been down that road many times before and it has never worked out. However, I began to wonder:

Could I love him completely?

Could he love me completely?

Could we be happy together?

Could I give myself to him with no regrets?

Could this be the only man that will have me?

We finally hit rock bottom in our "relationship" almost two months ago and have now had to sever all ties to one another. I can't begin to express the shame, humiliation and hurt this caused me. I can't begin to tell you how he truly feels because he never expressed it. All I know is that I chased after the wrong man and was left crying on the shoulder of my family and friends when he tired of me.

This past Wednesday, my sister-in-law and I decided to sample Taylor Swift's album Fearless.As we were going through the list of songs, we came across one named White Horse. Mrs. Awesome's first words? "This album may not be the best idea for you right now." You think?

It isn't all his fault. In the beginning I told him I would never want to be with him for the long-hall; he isn't even close to fulfilling THE List. He was under the strong impression that I would never love him and he had no knowledge of what I was completely feeling and contemplating. I wanted to know without a shadow of a doubt that we couldn't make it. I was searching for a conclusion that God actually provided years ago. I experimented with his feelings towards me and he used me to build up his ego and discarded me once he was built up enough to pursue another woman. (He has never seen my worth and I have never understood that.)

He never officially asked for my forgiveness, but he has it none-the-less. He never begged for me to be a part of his life again, but I miss him none-the-less. He never asked to be my prince charming, but I was secretly hoping he would be none-the-less. Stupid girl.

What Not to say/do on a date Part 8

That's right everyone! It's back! 

If you've missed any of the previous editions you can find them here. 

This date actually happened with someone who I had been in a relationship with for awhile. We were out to dinner and we were sitting across from each other at the table. I'm not one of those let's sit on the same side of the booth type girls when it's just the two of us. Anyways, we're sitting there waiting on our food, making general chit chat about our days and what not. The previous week I had my hair highlighted. Out of no where he says:

Him: "So are your eye brows suppose to be that dark?"

Me: "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Him: "Well you got your hair highlighted but your eye brows are still dark. That seems odd. Don't most girls dye them as well?"

Me: "Maybe, but it's not like I went platinum or have black eyebrows."

Him: "Well I think they look weird."

Me: "And this is coming from a man who has a unibrow..."

We broke up not too long after that. 

Oh...weekend

First off...don't forget my 300th post is coming up and I'm taking Questions for a Q&A. If you haven't already asked a question then go here to do so! 

I don't know about the rest of you, but in my neck of the woods, we're suppose to be getting a HUGE snow storm. I went to the grocery store to stock up on some necessities incase it gets really bad out there. Um...hello. The shelves were almost completely bare. I was shocked. Usually, people around here don't go this crazy so I'm guessing this storm is getting hyped as a giant. 

Since the weekend weather forecast isn't looking too good. I've decided to leave you with my list of hot men that could totally warm your bed at night. So without further ado...my top 5 hotties of Hollywood. 

Colin Farrell (Super hot in Swat)

Harry Connick Jr. (Have you seen him in New In Town?!)

Keanu Reeves (The Love of My Life)

Shia LeBeouf (Eagle Eye hotness)

Taylor Lautner (yes he may be 17 but I can wait that out 12 months)

Enjoy the weekend!

Letting it out into the universe.

Warning: This is a deeply personal and emotional post. I've thought about this for awhile now. If you know me, then you know I'm all about making pro/con lists. Well...I figured, "Why not?" so I'm just going to put it out there. I'm sure between all of my amazing followers, the one pesky blog stalker and the general population that somehow the universe will have a way of getting this to the right person. So here it goes. I apologize now for the pouring of real emotion.

I just needed to say this. 

Dear _____,

I've started this letter at least 10 times. I've never been good at starting a letter so I guess in this case, it's made it even harder for me. I guess I should quit stalling and just get down to it. I don't know if you'll ever read this but I thought I should let you know what I'm thinking and also clear the air. First of all, I miss you. Plain and simple. I think about you more than I probably should. I wonder how you are and what you've been up to. I let my mind wander and I think of us. The times that we were together and how happy I was being with you. I wonder if you're happy now and if you ever think of me in a good way. The thought that you might, makes my heart beat a little faster. 

Recently, I've found myself thinking of you a lot more often. Don't ask me why, because I don't have the answer. I wish I did. I know that if you really wanted to talk to me, you'd get ahold of me. Modern technology has made it pretty easy for girls and guys to know when they're being ignored/avoided. I don't know what twisted stories you've heard but I want to clear the air about a few things. #1 I never cheated on you physically or emotionally. You may honestly think that I did but I didn't. You of all people should know that I wouldn't. #2 After you broke my heart the 2nd time that's when I knew to let go of the hope. That's all I had to hold on to and when you took that away I knew that you didn't think I was the one. If you did you wouldn't have hurt me like that. Maybe you did it without even knowing it? I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. #3 Regardless of what outside parties may or may not have told you. I never secretly said any harsh remarks that you hadn't heard before. It was nothing new and I'm sure it was blown up into a large drama fest that some choose to feed on. #4 I love my blog. I like to come here and write my thoughts. And they are exactly that....my thoughts. Some people have a vice well maybe this one is mine depending on how you look at it. 

After things just stopped, I started hearing things that I wished I hadn't. Whispers of  lying, cheating and manipulation. I guess I should have always kept my guard up...with you I didn't want to. You always had a way of making me feel like it was just you and I. Whether it was or wasn't...well I can't answer for your end. At this point it doesn't matter. It's in the past. I just want you to know that I'm here. I miss you. I think of you and I wish we could talk. You may never want to speak to me but just know that I really wish you would. I still care for you and I think about you every single day.

-J

PS: I leave you with what I once called my theme song to life after heartbreak 1. 

Say you're sorry That face of an angel comes out Just when you need it to As I pace back and forth all this time  'Cause I honestly believed in you Holdin' on, The days drag on Stupid girl  I should've known, I should've known

That I'm not a princess This ain't a fairytale I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet Lead her up the stairwell This ain't Hollywood, This is a small town I was a dreamer before you went and let me down Now its too late for you and your White Horse, To come around.

Maybe I was naïve, Got lost in your eyes I never really had a chance. My mistake I didnt know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand.  I had so many dreams about you and me Happy endings;  Now I know

I'm not a princess This ain't a fairytale I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet Lead her up the stairwell This ain't Hollywood, This is a small town I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now its too late for you and your White Horse, To come around.

And there you are on your knees Begging for forgiveness, Begging for me Just like I always wanted, But I'm so sorry

Cause Im not your princess  This aint a fairytale Im gonna find someone, Some day Who might actually treat me well. This is a big world, That was a small town There in my rearview mirror,  Disappearing now. And it's too late for you and your White Horse, Now its too late for you and your White Horse To catch me now.

Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh Try and catch me now Whoa-Oh It's too late To catch me now.

Oh it's a doozie! Dear So & So

Before we get to the Dear So & So letters. I'd like to point out a friend of mine who blogs. Her name is Amanda and if you haven't heard she's pretty awesome. We actually met in college and were in the same sorority (many moons ago). If you get a second check out her blog. It's doesn't disappoint. 

Sit back...it could be a bumpy ride. 

Dear Winter Weather, 

At first I loved you. You lured me in with your majestic Thanksgiving dusting & Christmas winter wonderland. Now, with your frigid, single digit temperatures, I have come to hate you. It's only January so ease up! I thought we were suppose to be in the middle of global warming. Sincerely, fan of warmer times.

Dear Diluted Fool, 

I don't know what planet you are from but I know no one who, has met their perfect soul mate in 3 days and started planning a wedding. Maybe you think you have but you haven't. A month from now you're just going to look like a fool when you have to tell people you either a)called off the wedding or b) got dropped like a hot potato. Sincerely, worried about your mental health.

Dear Work, 

I understand the fact that people got promoted or transfered and that we're now short staffed. But was it really necessary for me to lose my 3 days off a week and be reduced to 2? It seems kinda unfair that only 4 of us had to do this while everyone else did not. I think you came a little late to the party, scrooge was here last month. Sincerely, bummed about those 24 hours.

Dear Life, 

You kicked me in the pants for most of the 2009 year. Do you think we could not have so many bombshells this year? Thanks, I'd appreciate that. Besides, the steady and I are rocking and I'd personally like the calmness to continue. Sincerely, a tired soul.

1st Awkward Moment of 2010

If I could have named this post: the most uncomfortable, awkward, vomit inducing moment ever then I think it would have fit perfectly. Seeing as how I thought that was too long, I went with awkward moment lol. 

Remember last month when I mentioned there was a possibility of running into someone I wasn't for sure I wanted to see nor would he want to see me? If not here's the back story post. 

Guess what happened today? Oh... that's right! I'm sure you guessed it. We walked straight into  each other. Two words can describe it:  Awkward and Uncomfortable. And of course, it would be on his last day in town. We couldn't make it one more day?!? 

At first I didn't even see him and then I saw him. Looking as nice as ever (of course). He had no where else to go but to walk forward. I had to talk to him. I couldn't pretend I didn't see him....I was working. I said the bare minimum. I smiled and I'm pretty for sure I even told him "Have fun" as he walked away. But here's what gets me... He's one of those people who can make my stomach go instantly into knots. Make my face feel flushed and a wave of nausea come over me. Maybe it's the situation? It would probably happen with anyone in the same place. 

I do feel I was a good person. Considering how I was treated in a previous situation with him, I did nothing today but smile, be polite and wish him well. I'll continue to wish him well as I always have, even when he hurt my heart. I don't know what it is but I find myself wanting to be his friend. I know it'll never happen but for some unknown reason I just want him to know that I'd help him or be there for him if he ever needed it. I guess even though less than nice words were said, and bad behaviors were had, I guess I'll always wish for the best. Maybe one day in the future he'll think those same thoughts and get ahold of me. If not....well, I'm not holding my breath.