Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Creepers Gonna Creep


Riddle me this: How many times in a day can creepers come out of the wood work to hit on a person? And why is that anytime you're single no one approaches you but when you're with someone you have to beat them away with a stick? 

Well at least one answer to that question is....three.

Creeper #1:
It wasn't raining so I decided to go outside and clean out my car. Little did I know that a high traffic road one block over my house was having construction done on it and all the traffic was being directed down my block. Whatever, so I start cleaning out my car and complete it. Then I move to the dash, where I start cleaning it down with the leather wipes. 

I've got my windows down because it was warm and I didn't want to smother. No biggie. Then I see a giant white blog out of the corner of my eye and realize that a truck is just sitting there, in the road and that the driver is just staring at me. Like full on stare. Um... creepy. Then he says it, "You wipe that dash girl."

Creeper 2:
I'm mowing my lawn and it's been over a week since I'd last cut it, with the rain it's grown a lot. My backyard has a small uphill slant so it's kinda rough to mow. So I'm struggling to get it done and I hear over my mower someone trying to get my attention. So I look up and see this dude standing there in khaki shorts riding gangster low, with a white wife beater top that no longer looks white is now a shade of yellow, wearing some G hat, half backwards. And this is what he says to me, " What's up baby girl? Looks like you're having a hard time there, you want me to finish it?"

Well of course at this point, I'm completely creeped out and wanted him to get away from my fence. I politely said no thank you and that it was own fault that I let the grass get that high. I tried to be nice thinking he would take the NO for an answer and that he'd walk away. WRONG! He then says, "So you gotta old man or what?" Um... creepy. Get the hell away from my fence and move along. Now I have to move...

Creeper #3:
So it's evening now and I've already been creeped on by two people. I think I've tapped out on the weird for the day. Wrong. I'm driving to pick up my friend and I have my window half down. I'm going about 45-50mph and I hear someone honking. I think ok maybe I know the people and look over. There's literally a dude hanging out the passenger window of a car, giving me the phone/call me hand. When I start laughing at first because of the whole weird day that I'm having he then starts to raise his shirt and flash me a nipple! 

At that point I rolled up the window and never gave them another glance. Creepy!

So have you ever had a creep tastic day? 

23 comments:

Steph said...

People, men in particular, are so weird. Like showing his nipple is going to make you want to call him.

TASS said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had a few encounters over the years, but never in the same day. What I want to know is why people insist on "picking woman up" that way. What respectable female is really going to be like "OOOOOO I will wipe it down dirty for you" or "Sure you can mow my yard, and take a tour of my front when you're done" and even better "I will show you mine tonight after I eye bone you"!!!! MEN, I swear have no idea what we want in a respectable man. I can't help but laugh though. You poor thing!

Erin said...

Ewww dudes are gross! I would have told the one guy that I was going to run him over with the lawn mower if he didn't get away!

vintch said...

haaaaa! "you wipe that dash girl." what a creeper mccreeperson! that's also very hilarious, and makes a fabulous story! those are all crazy experiences!

i was pulling out of the thrift store the other day, and a homeless man shouted at me from across the street, "you pretty. good for you."

i didn't know whether to smile and say thanks or spin out ASAP. i did the later:)

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

Ugh. Ew. Just ew.

Carrie said...

Hahaha. At least you know you're looking good today! ;) But who knows, maybe there's a Creeper Convention in town.

Hutch said...

Eewwww. The creeps tend to come out for me regardless of whether I'm single or not, but I think my max is 2 in 1 day.

AC Quigley said...

Hahaha!! I always thought that I attracted weirdo's - but yours are sooo much better!
Andrea

Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

Ewwwww...the last one got me laughing big time. So sorry. What the heck is wrong with people?! Really!!! You deserve a non-creepy month, heck, year ahead of you!!!!!

xoxo

Amber said...

Creep-tastic days are my least fave kinda days.. but at least they make for interesting blog posts. ;)

Jennifer B said...

You got a nip flash?! omg LOLS!

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

OMG!! Geeze! Not only is it creepy it's just gross! What is up with dudes? Do they really think they're going to get women that way? You poor thing :(

Deidre said...

All the time!

I attract weird people like it's my job.

tara said...

LOL! creeper #2 is my fave!!

Llama said...

Oh my goodness! I can't stand creepers! What the HECK is wrong with people!?!? I too have had someone pull along side me while I was driving. I just don't get it...do they really think that we are going to like the fact that they do things like that? I mean really..."Hey hot stuff, would you finish mowing my lawn for me? I am just too weak and tired....then we can go hang out..." JERKS

Sarah said...

I'm SO very sorry for all the creepers!! I admit I had to laugh only because I've been there done that. I once was waiting for a friend beside my CHURCH and had a guy pull up as if I were a lady of the street...

samnhal said...

WHAT? This is the most awesome post ever. Seriously he said "you wipe that dash" Who does that?! Who? I don't understand how guys think it's ok to talk to girls like that.

Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Oh my goodness, girl... the creeper's 'be creepin' on you!! ;) (I don't really talk like that) I would have freaked out if I was mowing my lawn because it is so loud. Yikes!!

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

Omg....FLASH A NIPPLE!?!!? That's hilarious. What gets into people? Sadly I haven't been creeped on in a long time.

Lin said...

omg...I'm literally busting up laughing! The whole 'nipple flash' thing got me. How the heck did you not pull over for that dude? He's such a winner.

Haha, who does that?

I know all these dudes creeped you the hell out but they were a really good laugh :)

Just Call Me Lynn said...

I'm jealous! I wish I had me some creepers wearing wife beaters and showing me their nips! LoL

Shann said...

OMG Super creepy, but hilarious! Go girl for mowing your own lawn!

Anonymous said...

simply stopping by to say hello