Friday, November 12, 2010

Dear Happy, Where are you?

I'm in one of those weird limbo moments in life where all of my "friends" (we'll come back to the whole in quotes reason later)have got married, are getting married, living with their partner and are having babies, buying houses, decorating etc. And then there's me not doing any of that.

Honestly, I'm usually ok with that but then there's times like oh say, the holidays that only remind me of how alone I am. I get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner alone, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat. It's starting to get old.  I don't have a lot of family and it's starting to get scary. Like one day it could be just me and that's it. Stare that one down in the face and still be chipper....

Add to the fact that all of my friends no longer live in town. They've all moved away and there's literally no one to hang out with. I try to be really good about keeping in contact but lately I'm tired of it. Why do I have to be the one to reach out? Friendship is a two way street and apparently I've been forgotten. Maybe it's because I'm the odd girl out who hasn't got married or is even in a relationship. I give up. I'm tired of being the one to text, write on walls, send cards and then get a response weeks later or if ever. Done and done.

Now, I'm trying to get my happy back. I know it's out there. I feel like 2011 could be my year. Maybe I'll win the lottery and can just spend all of my days traveling the world. Ok wait, let's get realistic. Maybe a work opportunity will arise where I get to travel and get paid for it. Maybe I'll meet Mr. Right, fall in love and get married and start decorating. Who knows. Either way I'm going to be out there looking for my happy. 

I'm a firm believer in the fact that if you're unhappy with things your life then change it. Well I'm changing it..... hello happy here I come! 

35 comments:

tootie said...

I know how you feel about making all the effort with friends sometimes - it can be tiring!

I think that 2011 will be your year, too!

JMJE said...

I like your attitude. Make the happiness happen. Keep on travelling and planning new trips and doing what you like and I think you'll find your happiness.

Bri said...

Keep the faith, my friend. Your happiness is out there!

Kerr said...

I feel you. I am one of the only single ones left. I am lucky that I have a lot of friends in town but it does get lonely sometimes. Dear Mr Right, where are you?!

Steph said...

Embrace your independence my dear.

Summer said...

I'll totally help you get your happy back :0)! As soon as this fatigue from chemo starts wearing off like you said lets have lunch, I have a bestie that I do everything with that would probably go, and another girl from around here Sara that I "met" in blogland and we should all have a meet and greet! Then we will be IRL friends and problem solved....I have a few friends that are single and I totally love hanging out with them as well...fun!! OK so I know the holidays can totally make you wanna be in a relationship and girl you will be you have lots going for ya, Mr. Right will come around try not to settle for Mr. Right Now LOL....my friend did that and he was Mr. Wrong Always LOL

xoxo
Summer

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I totally feel you. 2011 has to be a better year!

Kendra said...

I love your attitude about this. It's so true. Anyone who isn't happy needs to change that or be unhappy for the rest of their life, it's that simple. I wish you the best of luck..and I hope Mr. Right shows up soon! :)

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Oh, Jennifer I know exactly how you feel. I'm only a couple years older than you but I felt like I went through the exact same thing a couple years ago. Two of my best friends got married within a year of each other and it hit the other two of us pretty hard. We felt like we were "behind" and honestly I still do sometimes, but we are all on own path and have to make ourselves happy before we can make someone else happy so I think you are on the right track! Keep doing what you're doing because you're just amazing and it will all come together for you. I just know it! :)

~KS said...

I know the feeling all too well... but awesome attitude girlie!! Go change the world... or your part in it at least :)

Happy Friday!

mariahsmile said...

We have to do something soon! The only things I do throughout the week is stuff with my mom, so I have been neglecting my friends :(

{Selma} Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

I know how you feel girl. And I love that fact that you wrote "Friendship is a two way street and apparently I've been forgotten". Same here. I never get responses back, and if I do (like 2 months later) they blame me for everything. Hello? I tried, I called, I wrote, I did what I could but no one moved their butt to even show some sign of what a friendship should consist of...and then I get the blame?! Not fair. I sometimes blame it on me though, just for the heck of it and tell myself it's all me but I know I shouldn't. And neither should you. You are not odd!!!

My non-existing happiness is also one reasong I'm going to spend the holiday season in CA. Different place, different people, different everything. Maybe I gain ME and my happiness back. :)

And yes, my fingers are crossed for you. 2011 could be your year. Heck, it's going to be yours. Can I add me, too. I want 2011 to be my year. Slight changes but good changed. :) Okay?!

Okay!!!!

xoxo

p.s. wow, this comment turned out way too long. Sorry. ;)

Ms. Emily Ann said...

We all go through life stages at different times, and I am sure many of your attached friends are jealous of your freedom, and positive new attitude :)

Random Musings Of My Life said...

2011 will be a FABULOUS year! Maybe you will win big in Vegas??

I feel the same way about friends moving away.. having babies...

Happy is a state of mind you'll find it!

Sunshinemeg said...

Dear Jen, It's me happy. 2011 is for sure your year! Keep that head up = )

Allison @ I heart Change said...

That's right! You control your attitude and that can make the difference in every corner of your life.

I feel it too. 2011 is your year.

mrsashcake said...

happy is out there waiting for you too. i'm sure of it :] HUGS!

All the Small Things said...

I am always the one to call, wall post, text etc. first and it gets old fast. Way to embrace happiness! People (including myself) at times forget that they are in charge of their happiness. Good luck embracing it. You are an amazing person, I have no doubt that 2011 will be your year!

Anastasia said...

I'm really bummed that your sad. But I'm glad you're making the choice to be happy. Good luck!

Brittany Ann said...

even as a married woman, I feel this way sometimes, when things aren't moving along like they should while others seem to speed past with developments.

I know it will pass, but you're right: It's so hard to feel melancholy about your life status.

Ms. Random said...

I could have written this post myself. I moved an hour away from friends last year. Their lives moved on while I allowed myself to sit stagnant. It is difficult to find the happy you once had and scary to find the new happy. Congrats on your decision to make changes!

garden state prep said...

I hear you! My friends keep leaving town and moving further and further away with their boyfriends/fiances/husbands. It's tough to always be okay with constantly reaching out and making the effort - I've been in that situation far too many times recently.

Meghan said...

It's hard to always be the one to initiate contact with friends. It's exhausting! But I love your attitude and I have no doubt you will get your happy back soon enough!

Crystal said...

Sorry you're having a rough time, hope the new attitude helps! I can relate to the friend thing - I'm married and have kids, and some of my friends do and some don't, but regardless I always make time for them and try to keep things going. I feel like if I didn't do that, I'd never see them and it's getting really old. It sucks to feel like you're the only one who gives a crap.

I'm tired of always being there for my friends and helping them out, only to have them so far removed from my day to day that they would never even know if I needed them to be there for me.

I'm with you though, I'm just over it. I'm not wasting my energy feeling bad about these things anymore. Wish you lived in Cleveland so we could hang out!

As my dad used to say "Piss on 'em!"

Kristen @ Miss Prissy Paige said...

I hear you, 2011 is full of possibilities. And you know what, someone has to win the lottery, why couldn't it be you! :)

Kristen @ Miss Prissy Paige said...

I hear you, 2011 is full of possibilities. And you know what, someone has to win the lottery, why couldn't it be you! :)

Jax said...

I know how you feel.. I'm sure you've seen all the posts with my friends and their gorgeous babies, families, etc... Out of my college friends, I am literally the ONLY one that's not only single, but also doesnt have kiddos. Sometimes, it wears on me, especially when it dawns on me that I'm approaching 30 (eek! haha!). I mean..even today, I just posted about my friend's engagement party. I'm SO happy right now with my boyfriend, etc, but I don't own my own home, I'm not married, I'm not having babies, and when it all hits at once on the wrong day, it's a bad, bad day...

So, yeah, I get you.

I like your positive attitude, girl. And I dont know how long your friends have been married, etc, but most of my friends got married just out of college, etc. So, it's been about 5-6 years for them. Trust me on this...around year 2 or 3, they start being more normal. you wont feel like you're reaching out to them as much. Things will equalize a little. Even though my friends are having kids, I feel like we're closer now than we were a few years ago when they first got married and everything was shiny and new in their lives, ya know....

And something that shocked me... My married friends and I had an awesome bonding moment when I realized they were somewhat envious of my life in some regards. I could go anywhere, do anything, see anyone, etc. Or at least that's how they saw it). When I made them understand I was jealous of THEIR lives and how they had it all perfect and had SO much figured out (how I saw it), we all started understanding each other a little bit better b/c we realized we were both a little off base about each other's lives...haha..

This was a rant, but just saying.. I'm high fiving you from Tulsa for your positive attitude. If we lived closer, I'd buy you a drink and we'd talk about this for hours! :)

Llama said...

Awwwww sweetie. Im sorry you were sad...but i love that you are putting your happy on. It is just that attitude, that will help to get you out of your funk. Do things that make you happy and believe me the good positive energy will bring a Mr. Right your way. I just know it!

Erin said...

It may not seem like it, but you are still young yet! Most of my friends from highschool that are our age aren't even close to doing those things. You really aren't the only one. Plus, think of the things you get to do that old married with children people don't get to do, like travel and save money and pay off debt. That way when it is time for you to settle down, you will be financially set and know you got to do all the fun things in life!

Amanda said...

Yes, sometimes you have to make your own happiness! But really there is so much more to life than just all that....I mean, I would love to travel like you do and have money to buy extra things, but I'm barely making ends meet as is! So we all have things that make us unhappy...but with you, you're still young and I promise there is time. Unfortunately you live in an area where men suck and there isn't much out there...so it might take going to some wide open spaces someplace new!!! Just hang in there!

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

I'm not sure how I missed this post last week! I'm sorry girl. I know you'll be ok because you're keepin your head up and your attitude is great. People (ehem, Men) are attracted to confidence! So you just keep your headup and keep truckin girl! =) Holler if you ever wanna talk.. I'm always around!!

Jessie said...

hugs and love from me!!!! I know how you feel. 25.. single.. divorced.. living in a college town.. ugh. Life just feels like a never-ending suck sometimes. doesn't it? I'll be spending thanksgiving all by myself, so I know what you mean. Keep your chin up!

JAMIE said...

I know what you mean about feeling blue. I felt it for a while, even with my hubs. Sometimes, life just gets you down. But you gotta do exactly what you're doing, and turn it around. Figure out what the first step is in getting to where you want, and take that step!

Ashley said...

Are you spying on me? I swear, I could have written this. You're DEFINITELY not alone!

The Adventures of Maverick & the Mrs. said...

Having been the odd-man-out until age 28, I understand how you feel. I think 2011 WILL be your year, and you're certainly on the right track! Getting your happy back will cause everything else to fall right into place!