Tuesday, February 11, 2014


In the last few years, I've come to find these two things very true...

1. You learn who your real friends and family are when you either become sick or move far away.
2. It is what it is.

Let that sink in for a second.

When I moved from Alabama back to West Virginia at the beginning of 2008, I became very ill. I'm talking so sick, I couldn't leave the house. The kind of sick where you can't eat, can't get out of bed and can't go one day without feeling like you're not going to keep the food you did eat stay inside you. It wasn't pretty. It took me the entire year of 2008 to get better. I went to the doctor, the hospital, took tests,  ate radioactive eggs, had blood drawn, etc. It was awful. Pure awfulness. I don't know if I could ever be that sick again and make it. It was really rough.

During that time though, I learned who some of my real friends were. The ones who would call me or text me. The ones that I wouldn't have to reach out to first. The ones who wouldn't call me just to talk about their problems but would ask if I was going to be ok. The ones who knew I couldn't go out to eat and would offer to come just sit with me. Then there was my family. My mom was there for me every single day. She would stay up nights with me and do everything she could to tell make me feel like I was going to be ok. Some of my other family would call or ask my mother how I was doing.

Then in late 2012, I moved 2,500 miles away from home to the other side of the country. Again, I learned who a lot of my real friends were and what family was really going to make an effort. I've been really surprised by certain friends. Some of them have made a tremendous effort. They call, they text, they send real mail. I love it and I always try to do the same thing. However, I've been really disappointed in my family. My mom and my cousin have been the only two to really reach out. I talk to my mother everyday and we are incredibly close and I know that will never change. My cousin reaches out and that's really nice. I appreciate it. Everyone else... nothing. Not even a facebook wall post. Yep.

So last week when my cousin was hospitalized for a serious intestinal issue and no one reached out to him except my mom and I. It was hard for him. I think he realized the two above mentioned things. I'm sad for him that he's learning it in his early 20s but hey, you have to learn sometime. You have to learn who to put the effort in with and you have to learn who to cut your losses with. So remember the two things. It'll help you in the end.


Stephanie said...

I think these are the toughest moments/lessons in life. We want to believe that the people we love will put us first when it is truly needed; however, we often are reminded that people's priorities aren't always what they probably should be. I am just as guilty.

Why Girls Are Weird said...

You also find out who your true friends/family are when you plan a wedding. I've gone through a ton of drama with friends and family because of my 2 weddings. It's super frustrating but it really brings out people's true colors.

How ARE you? EMAIL ME!

Anonymous said...

I SO know the feeling.

It's ALL about them and they just don't give a shit about you, they just want to talk or worry about themselves.

They could not care if you're on your death bed they would still make it about them or ignore you completely, but if something happened to them, God help you they would bitch and complain how you wouldn't be there for them.

Some people are just NOT worth worrying about.