Monday, December 13, 2010

What Not to say/do on a date Part 12

That's right, What Not to Say/Do on a Date is back! If you've missed any of the earlier editions they can be found here

Before I tell you about my most recent date, I want to go ahead and answer my most frequently asked question when it comes to these segments. Have all of these dates happened to you? YES! Yes, they have. I've changed the names to protect the dates but all of the events in them have happened to me on my personal dates. Now on to the date.....

If you remember in my last edition of What Not to Say/Do on a Date, I mention the date that never was. I had been somewhat fixed up by a co-worker and the guy seemed pretty uninterested. Well all of that changed this past week. 

On Wednesday I got a call from said co-worker telling me that the dude wanted me to call him. If you know my co-worker, he won't give out people's numbers. He just won't. So I said alright and he passed his number along to me. I didn't really want to call the guy because hello, he snubbed me at our initial meeting. So for me to call him up out of the blue did not seem appealing to me. However my interest was sparked since apparently he had told my co-worker to have me get ahold of him. So I did the easiest thing. I sent him a text. 

I got NO response. I was annoyed and done. Turns out I texted the wrong number, oops. So I just called him, got voicemail, left a message. To my surprise the guy called me back within 10 minutes and we set up a hang out/date. The date rolls around and it's going great. The first hour we're having great conversation. Things are clicking and we're getting along. Then it happens. He drops the question, 

So what are you looking for?  
I hate this question. No matter what someone says, it's awkward. If you're a girl and say, "Oh I'm looking for a relationship" well then that turns you into a needy girl who instantly wants to get married. If you say, "I'm just looking to go out and have fun." well then you become an easy hoe that can be used. No matter what, this question is a land mine! 

He answered his own question before I could even respond. He doesn't want to be in a relationship and he isn't looking. Um... ok that's great. BUT why go out on a date? Awkward. 

I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed because he seems to be a really nice guy. Obviously, he's honest.

24 comments:

Keely said...

ugh. Tell him most men who make booty calls at least make the call themselves. I hope you are leaving him in the dust because he sounds like a real jerk.

And I really don't see a huge point in dating if you are not looking for anything at all. It doesn't mean you are looking to fall in love today, but you need to know it's a possibility.

That being said, I should point out that my husband wasn't looking for a relationship when we met- we dated for 5 months before he actually called me his girlfriend. But I think that was more of a "he'd never had a girlfriend situation" instead of an "I'm an open and honest player situation."

You deserve better :) and sorry for being opinionated all over your blog.

Erica said...

it could have been better if there had been a turkey sandwich!!!

D said...

Doesn't want a long term relationship and isn't looking? Permit me to translate: He's looking for sex. Why do men even pretend? Why go through with the lies? Why not just say it? I mean you're either going to be receptive or smack him so why not just give it up and admit what he's really after? Okay,maybe that's just my experience with dating.

Steph S. said...

OH my gosh... haha... yes, he is honest. I wouldn't know how the crap to answer that question, either!

Steph said...

Men are dumb. I hate the lame questions.

Dollface said...

uggg.. I think at some point men shouldnt be looking for that anymore.. they should be looking for someone to settle down with!!! Im sorry love, xxxoo

mrsashcake said...

oh geez how frustrating! :( sorry girl!

Sunshinemeg said...

I love these posts! You were spot on about the question about "what are you looking for?" What in the world are you supposed to say? You can't be crazy picky, but you can't say I don't know.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...

I agree, what was the point of the date? Stupid..but honest guy!!!

City Girl said...

I'm loving this series! Too funny. Am I missing something though? Why would a guy ask you to get together if he wasn't actually looking for anything? What's the point? At least he was honest up front so you didn't have to waste your time!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

What on earth? That's too bad.

Hutch said...

That is a ridiculously stupid question! I usually answer with I don't really know, just letting things play out and see what happens. Or something along those lines. Of course, that makes me non-committal which isn't always a good thing.

Kerr said...

ugh. that is annoying. but at least you know it now instead of 3 months down the road...

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Lame. Though did I miss something...I thought you were dating someone? A cute someone if I remember correctly....is he no more?

Laura said...

that question is such a double edge sword. You're completely right, girls can appear need or a total slut, depending how you answer. Which, apparently must be very carefully!!

I would tell your coworker all about that exchange. Maybe he has some insight..?

Patience said...

I too used to hate that question. Duh, I am looking for a relationship or I wouldn't be dating. Gah!

jenn said...

what a loaded question and a crappy one at that esp. knowing he didn't want a relationship....

why is he dating if he doesn't want a relationship anyway? what the heck!?!?!

seriously, you deserve MUCH better than this guy who you had to call!!! geesh!!!

your mr right IS out there...

MissBrightside said...

I thought the same thing as Keely...you got tricked into making a reverse booty call!

TheBabyMammaChronicles said...

Hope you get a better date soon!

Kelsey Claire said...

Well that is annoying, but at least he didn't waste your time. You are going to find someone amazing!

Shann said...

All of your blog comments are so sweet! Thanks a million.

I know exactly how you feel.... hence the reason I'm not really dating.

After being in that same situation tons of times, I think it's best to be honest. If the guy is interested and does want a relationship, then he will value your answer. If he gets turned off- it's better in the beginning then it coming up after you're invested!

star said...

Sorry girl! It's his loss though, you're a great girl!

garden state prep said...

Oh goodness! I don't understand the whole "go on a date but not be looking for anything" - it confuses me.

samnhal said...

Bleh! Seriously, why would he ask his friend to have you call him? That's lame. If he wanted to go out with you, he should have had the co-worker call you and see if you're interested and then he should have called you himself. What a lame-wad. haha, I haven't said that in a long time. Who asks that on the first date?