Friday, April 16, 2010

Dear So & So

Dear Guys, 
Having skid marks on your underwear will not attract the ladies. When you flirt and look all cute, we're still thinking of those skid marks and wondering if you just are not capable of cleaning your butt. Just saying.
Clean your undies. 

Dear Birds, 
I know you just made that long flight back. I get it, I really do but must you make all that noise while it's dark?!? Haven't you heard? You're suppose to be quiet at night! Maybe it's just the locals around but really please be quiet, isn't it enough that you wake me up at the crack of dawn? Must you keep me up at night as well?!?
Shut your traps!

Dear Ex, 
This town isn't big enough for the both of us. You know this, I know this. Hopefully we can coexist in this town without incident for a few more weeks before my departure. Do you have any duct tape because we can draw the lines all over town. Haha, just kidding (kinda).
Find the tylenol.

24 comments:

Jessica Lynn said...

HAHA! Those were funny. The birds here start chirping around 4 am every. single. morning.

Steph said...

I agree about the birds. We've been sleeping with the bedroom window open and about 5 every morning one or ten or them start chirping. It was nice like one day but then I got sick of it.

Justine said...

Boys are gross....

Mrs. G.I. Joe said...

Haha yes! The Dear Ex part made me laugh :)

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

I am curious how in casual conversation you even know a guy has skid marks. These are things I try not to think about...or look for when I do my husbands laundry. What I don't see can't hurt me!

Nicole said...

Ewwwwww whose dirty chonies were u cleaning!?! Lol yuck. Love the ex one! Thank goodness for big towns!
Happy Weekend :)

Kristin said...

How is it possible that one does not have enough time to finish wiping one's arse? Ewwwwwww!

Carrie said...

Bahaha. I'm picturing you sectioning off the sidewalks with duct tape now. Very nice.

Dollface said...

Love it!! dear ex for sure, no town is big enough!! xxxoooo

Overthinking Mama said...

lol. i have to practially beg my 8yr old son to change his undies... otherwise.. he never would. even if they had racing strips! he must get that from his daddy.

Ms. Random said...

LOVE this! I am SO thankful that I don't live in the same town with my "big" exes. YUCK!!!

Q, La, and Gooner said...

This is hilarious! Skid marks, I know, not good not good. Your letters are super great!

Brittany Ann said...

Seriously, what is it with men and skid marks? It's gotta be a gender-genetic dysfunction.

Amber said...

I totally LOVE this post! Too funny! I love it when my 4yr old has a perfect skid mark line down his undies...you can see where he was digging in his butt! BLECK!

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BakerGirl said...

Haha! The Ex one I can totally relate to. It wasn't that long ago that I wanted to all over town marking "my" areas and "his" areas.

Thank god that's over...

Laura said...

HAHAHA! that's so funny... I think that is why boys buy grey/black underwear. gross.

Laura

http://middlesisterfairytales.blogspot.com/

Katie said...

I'll donate a roll of tape to the cause

J.J. said...

I jsut about spewed my drink...the first words I saw were skid marks!!!!! BWAH!

Ashley said...

That is hilarious. I love love love it and it literally made me laugh out loud. Boys are seriously disgusting.

Vi said...

LMBO I love it! How great!

Abbie said...

EWWW! OMG I am dying of laughter over here! I will never understand that as long as I live! How difficult is it to wipe your ass?!

Lindsey said...

This gave me a laugh!! The Ex part especailly! ;)

carissa @ lowercase letters said...

ha! you make me laugh. your blog is presh. i'm a follower. happy monday (if that's possible).

jenn said...

your dear ex...was hilarious :o)