Monday, December 21, 2009

Through the darkness

I'm going to try really hard, but I fear this post may end up being a jumbled mess. Please bare with me because I need advice....

With the holidays fast approaching a lot of people are visiting family and friends. Someone I know but no longer speak to (who knows for whatever reason..because I've tried) is coming into my hometown. This person makes me feel uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that even the thought of them, instantly makes my stomach upset. Well Friday I heard thru the grapevine that they were on their way to town. I instantly became on the look out. Now it's as if I'm on recon missions when I'm out in public. I'm not even kidding, my stomach is in knots just thinking about the off chance we could run into each other. It's not that big of a town..it's bound to happen.

So anyways, Saturday night I go to bed not feeling well, I could tell I was starting to get sick with the flu or something along those lines. I finally fell asleep and went into dreams. And who happened to be in my dream? Oh that would be the person who makes me feel SO uncomfortable. In the dream it was different though., we were friends. We were laughing and talking and making jokes. BUT we weren't in my hometown. We were in another state (I knew which state) and in a place that I've never been or know if it even exist. There were also other people in the dream. People who may have I know, had a hand in us not being friends anymore. The dream eventually ended and I woke up sicker than the night before. 

On a side note: I had a similar dream to last nights about a month ago. 

Now here's the thing. If I see this person out should I stand tall, march right over and say hello? Or should I pretend I never saw them and look for the exit door? Right now I'm thinking I would do a mixture of the two. It's just such an awkward situation. I can't go into all the reasoning of why...but trust me...it's awkward. I've tried on multiple occasions to reach out. I just don't get it. I was never mean to this person nor did I do anything that would cause this behavior I've received over the last few months.  

If you see a girl out and about in a bad wing and big sunglasses over the next two weeks, stop her and say hello. It could be me....

21 comments:

Mandy said...

I like the combo of both idea. If you just see her from afar, avoid her and don't say hi. But if it cannot be avoidable then go up and say hi. This sounds like such a tough situation. Good luck!!1

Ashley said...

I agree with Mandy. If you see them, but they don't see you, just go about your business. If they do see you, and you see them, then be polite. It'd make things worse if they spot you and you just take off for the door. You're a strong woman, stand your ground. :) Good luck.

Erin said...

I would probably want to run away. But the right thing to do is probably to go up and say hello. At least you know you were the bigger person.

Amanda said...

I agree with the girls above -- a combo is best. Don't go out of your way, but dont' avoid that person either. If he/she is trying to make you feel awkward, don't give him/her the satisfaction. Just say hi and move on if they see you. If not, keep calm and carry on :)

Of course, the dream could be your subconscious telling you that it's time to make amends. People change and situations change. You never know when a nice "hello" might mean the world to someone....

Either way, good luck!! Hope you get to feeling better too. Christmas colds suck.

Allison said...

I've been there. All you can do is your best. And it may be when you see her you are suddenly awash with red and end up screaming at her in public (oh, wait, that would be me) or you may run for the door. But don't let yourself get sick over it.

I have dreams like that over failed friendships. They're never fun. I think it's your brain's way of helping you prepare for the situation if it happens.

If you run into that friend I think you should seriously consider mooning her. I don't think you'd actually do it but at least you'd be smiling while looking at her.

Rachel said...

I think you should go say hi. You will make it more akward if you know they see you and you see them or if there's even the possibility. Just go say hi, be the bigger person, get it over with say "good to see you" and go on your way.

Cookie Crums said...

The combo idea sounds good! If you did all you can do, then I wouldn't be so upset about this person. Sometimes through no fault of your own friendships end. I'm dealing with that right now. It's very awkward and I'm just hoping with time things will ease off a little. Who knows though???

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

honestly I think it depends on why you are no longer homies. If it was ugly and she banged your man or something then don't pay her any mind. Don't be polite but don't be mean either! But if was just something like you guys drifted apart I'd say "hey". I wouldn't go out of my way either way... If you are literally making yourself sick over this person then I def wouldn't do anything to help them to feel good about themselves or brighten their day.

I think what I said before is the best policy: Don't be mean but don't be nice either. On the other hand, I think if you're still this nervous about seeing this person you haven't made peace with whatever went down. So I think you should just woosah- and let it go so that you can enjoy your holiday! :)

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

honestly I think it depends on why you are no longer homies. If it was ugly and she banged your man or something then don't pay her any mind. Don't be polite but don't be mean either! But if was just something like you guys drifted apart I'd say "hey". I wouldn't go out of my way either way... If you are literally making yourself sick over this person then I def wouldn't do anything to help them to feel good about themselves or brighten their day.

I think what I said before is the best policy: Don't be mean but don't be nice either. On the other hand, I think if you're still this nervous about seeing this person you haven't made peace with whatever went down. So I think you should just woosah- and let it go so that you can enjoy your holiday! :)

Abbie said...

Take the high road and if you see this person, give a friendly, but short, hello. And at least you know that you did what you could and really, that's all that matters. I've been in similar situations and have felt better when I've put forth the effort.

Katie said...

I'd probably run to the door because I am a huge chicken. Good Luck!

KatlynAnn said...

I wouldn't go talk to her, nor would I run out the door. If you see her and eye contact is made, give her a quick smile and keeping doing whatever your doing. If you have tried, then the ball is in her court. You just need to be ready incase she comes to talk to you.

Mrs. Smith said...

This may not be grown up or mature, but I would walk on by as if I'd never seen the person. Sad but true.

~KS said...

I don't know the whole story here... but I would vote for stand tall and say hello. I am very good at putting myself in situations to get hurt, over and over, so maybe you don't want to take my advice. But then again, I also have no regrets... because I am always sure I have done everything I could... because I always put my heart on the line and give it my all... time after time.

LawGirl said...

Awww, I was the same way with my ex. Until his father finally moved away from my hometown, I had to creep my way through the supermarket to make sure we didn't run into each other.

hisMrs said...

I agree with what most of the people have said. Ultimately, do whatever feels right to you. Good luck. I hope you start feeling a better.

AmberDenae said...

Awww, I totally know how you feel!!! I've had a similar situation and it is very uncomfortable and awkward. The frustrating part for me is I have NO idea what I did to make this person resent me and it still kills me to this very day.

I'd say if you see them and they're avoidable then avoid them but if you both see each other and it's inevitable that you do, then say hi. Simple as that. I'm not familiar with the situation so its hard to tell. Having been where you are, though, that would be my advice. It's tough. Sorry love =/

I'll be in Buckhannon, WV for Christmas! How far is that from H-town again?!

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Awww, I think we all have a person like this that makes our stomach's flip when we think about seeing them.

I know this isn't the most mature advice, but I would probably avoid the person and pretend not to see them. At most, all I would do is probably smile and say hi if passing them, but that's me. I hate confrontation!

Carol said...

My advice is always kill them with kindness. If you see them, just say hello, happy holidays and then just quietly excuse yourself. Be the bigger person and then just don't dwell on it. Hope this helps, good luck!

samnhal said...

I agree, a combo is best. Since you didn't cause the awkwardness there isn't any reason for you to resonate the awkwardness. You should just go about your life and if you happen to run into them, let them make the move. If she wants to she will come say hi, and then you can kind of get a feel for how things are between the two of you.

Kristen @ Miss Prissy Paige said...

Sorry you have to bear this awkward situation. I've been in a situation like this before and the feeling of constantly looking over your shoulder is the worst! If you do see this person, I would just smile and nod, that way its a greeting, but not an invitation to talk. In the end, its about making sure you are comfortable - good luck!