Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Relaxing Massage?

Normally, I'm not a 2 posts a day kinda girl but I feel this deserves it's own post. 
I haven't mentioned it but last week on Thursday, I injured my arm at work. I couldn't get in to see the Doctor until Monday. I was there for about 2 hours. At the end of that appointment she set me up for another one for Wednesday (today). I didn't think much about it but when she went to schedule it she mentioned another doctor but was talking more to her scheduling assistant than to me so I didn't think to ask. 

So.... I get there today for my appointment. I signed in and sat down in the waiting room. Out of no where this guy in scrubs comes up to me and says, "Are you Jennifer?" I can see he's wearing scrubs so I'm assuming maybe the doctor is busying and he's just going to take me back to the room to get started or something. When I tell him, "Yes, that's me." He comes back with something I didn't understand.  "Well as soon as the patient before you finished dressing, I'll get the room ready and then you can go back."

I don't know if it was because I was tired or what, but I totally wasn't getting it. I mean really, the doctor has like 4 different patient rooms. Why would I need to just wait on the one when I could see there was no one else waiting or already back in the rooms. Anyways, I just sat there and sat, "Oh...ok." So the other patient leaves, the scrubs guy goes in, does his thing and then comes back out telling me I can go in the room now. This is where I got my clue me in notice. 

I go into the room and there's no lights on and I can see it's a massage table. He asks me if I've ever had one before and if so what I can. I inform him that I have indeed had a massage before and inform him that I wasn't aware I was having one today. He explained to me that the doctor had scheduled one so my muscles would be easier to work with once he's done. I say, alright and then he tells me what to strip down to.  
OH CRAP.
Um....I wish someone would have told me I was stripping down my my bare skin today. Thank goodness I had just showered and shaved earlier in the morning. 

So I'm laying on the table...nude (per his request), under the sheet waiting for him to start. Did I mention he was gorgeous? Picture Vin Diesel. His twin was my massage therapist. So now we're about half way into the massage and my stomach starts hurting really bad. Oh, no! I need to fart pass gas. I'm laying there clinched my butt muscles together holding it in. The super hot therapist gets to my butt and starts working on the muscles. He goes, "Um is the pressure too much? You seem tense here." I obviously couldn't say, Um dude I'm holding in a giant fart. So I was just like,"oh really hm....strange."

The massage felt great but I kid you not it was probably the longest 45 mins of my life. I don't think I relaxed at all because of my stomach issues...


25 comments:

J.L.S. said...

Ahahahaha I could so see that happening to me! Oh my goodness that's miserable and awkward! Sorry they sprung that on you and then you couldn't even really enjoy it!

BakerGirl said...

Oh my! I just lol-ed for real over here! That is the funniest post I've read in a long while!

I so would have done the same thing!

Hope your arm is getting better!

Becky said...

Hahahaha! that is the funniest thing I have heard all day! That is hilarious! I can only imagine how awful that was!

Allison said...

ooh awkward.

It coulda been worse. You could have been forced to let the fart loose.

JG said...

Oh my gosh! That always happens to me, too. I think I must have a nervous stomach or something.

Katie said...

OMG!!! How terrible!!!!

Like thanks doc for the heads up! I would have made my self extra nice! I hardly ever shave my legs in the winter so that would have been all bad news for me!! haha

Young Mom/Wife said...

BAHAHA! I truly am sorry that you had that urge and couldn't fully appreciate your massage. At least the therapist was some sweet eye candy. =)

Jessie said...

haha! All I can do is smile! :D

Kpod said...

Ha ha! Thanks for sharing, literally made me laugh out loud.

Miranda Tucci said...

OH MY WORD! You're such a brave girl - I don't know what I would have done! ha ha!

Kassie said...

Ah! How uncomfortable!

Ashley said...

oh dear lord! i totally lol'd. that would have been so weird!

Abbie said...

HAHAHAHAHA!! OMG Jennifer, I don't think you understand how hard I laughed when I got to the paragraph about farting and clenching your butt cheeks together! Seriously, I am in stiches over here!

Thanks for the laugh and I know it's not funny, but you held it together like a champ!

Ashley said...

I left you a little something on my blog ;)

Ashley said...

Dang....a surprise massage! I love it!

K said...

HAHAHAHA! Oh my goodness, I really needed that laugh today! Thanks! ;)

That must have been very awkward.. but how cool that you got a massage!

Nicole said...

LOL!! OMG too hilarious! the old lady patients at work get away with ALL the time =D

Ashley said...

hahaha, Oh my gosh. I am sitting in my resort, absolutely exhausted and died out laughing. So awkward.
Your honesty and transparency is refreshing. :)

Selma said...

Oh no!!!! But it's quite funny...really. I had to laugh so hard it's not even funny. However, yes, I'm sure for you it was probably not sooooof funny. Plus, I would have done the same thing if I were you on there with hot massage guy...
How's your arm now? Hope better.

Cookie Crums said...

Too funny! Suck because you could enjoy the massage but at least you gave all of us a good laugh!! :)

Steph said...

Hahaha... that's funny! Besides the uh issue it sounds pretty great.

Laura and Ryan said...

bahhaha! That is SO something that would happen to me! Sometimes at the doctor over here I feel like I never know what's going on!

Mrs. Smith said...

Oh no!! That would be awful!

Leah said...

hahaha that is hilarious! sounds like something that would happen to me. & of course he had to be hott!

samnhal said...

greatest story ever.