Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I Do, I Don't


It came to my attention a few days ago that the last three people I have dated are now either engaged or married. Yep, let's check out the score board. Me-0 Ex's- 3

Ex #1- We broke up. A few months later (as in about 3) he meets the girl and a year later is engaged and getting married.

Ex #2- We break up. Two months later he meets her and then another month later they get engaged. Then if that doesn't sound fast enough for you, 3 months later they got married. Yeah... I somehow don't see that one lasting.... considering he cheats non stop on her.

Ex #3- We break up. A few months later they meet and about 6 months after dating have got engaged. They'll be getting married even before the year mark of their relationship.

Now am I sad about this? No, no not really. None of them were the one. Obviously, since we broke up. But what the heck?!? Literally the last 3 people I have dated are now engaged/married to the person they met right after we broke up. Every single one of them.

When did I become that girl? Do I make them realize what they want and I just don't have it? Am I too much, not enough or just not the right one? The realization made me wonder. I've heard a lot of people say that it just all comes down to timing. Maybe so. Either way, I just find this streak very odd and disturbing.

Has anyone else had something like this happen?

28 comments:

Summer said...

It's not you pretty girl and look at it this way the fact that ya'll broke up is a very good indication they weren't the one in the first place! Oh and #2 who still cheats on his fiance thank the lord your not with him anymore LOL....OK so I will share I hven't had to many relationships for mine were always really long ones so my first relationship Jr High/High School sweetheart...ok scratch out the sweetheart part LOL when we broke up I was a bit heartbroken like before we broke up he was seeing this other girl then they got engaged like a few months later and they got married shortly after that and I am so glad I wasn't the one for him LOL...then my second love of my life well I thought so but he sooo was Mr. wrong, cheated like crazy on me....he still isn' married and I am glad I am not with him and then well #3 is my true love the hubs...we have been together 10 years love him to the moon and back....see you will find yours and then you will be so happy the other ones were not the ONE...promise :)
xoxo
Sums

Mrs. G.I. Joe said...

I have to say I've been on one side of this issue. I had a super messy break-up after a 3 year relationship with a guy I was just settling for and then 6 months later I was married to my best friend. I was always in love with G.I. Joe and we finally just realized it was time to stop playing games. 6 years later we're happier than ever.

But getting married that fast that young isn't for everyone. It just was what was meant for us. I'm glad you said you aren't sad about it. That's gotta be frustrating if you focus on those numbers constantly. But when the time comes you'll be so thankful for each twist and turn in your love story because its what helps you find each other.

Amanda @ It's Blogworthy said...

You're good luck chuck! have you seen that movie? I dated a guy for 3 years and after we broke up (and tried to get back together) he started dating this other girl and they ended up married. But it all works out in the end...PROMISE!

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Have you ever seen the movie Good Luck Chuck? This post reminded me of that. And no it's not you! It's just a weird random coincidence

{Selma} Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

Hugs to you girl. BUT it is definitely not you girl. They just weren't the one. You weren't meant to be together. Yes, doesn't help much. And trust me, I know the feeling. :( All my ex's are married now, one has already two kids (dang it!!) and God knows what the other ones are doing regarding creating a family. It makes me sad. Though I know it is the righ thing. Do I see myself with them? Married? Having kids together? Nope. So it's a good thing. And I believe it is also a good thing for you. You will find your prince. Corny yes, but I know you will. :) Maybe CA has that in store for ya! :) Who knows. :)

xoxo

Amanda said...

The guy I dated before I met and married The Man turned out to be gay, which is great because we are still best friends and there are no hard feelings. The right one will come along.

On a side note...that was the cake topper we had at our wedding!

JMJE said...

Uh, I don't think it's you. I think it's them. They seem mildly crazy. At least number 2 and 3 for sure. But I also agree that it will be better for you in the end not to be with any of those guys.

The Remarkable (Rambunctious) Redhead said...

Um, YES! At least 2 guys I dated in HS are married now. The rest may never be (I dated them out of pity)

Eric said...

I think this is an example of the 80-20 rule: a girlfriend usually has 80% of what a guy wants, in terms of looks, personality, etc. And some guys will cheat in order to get the other 20%.

It sounds dumb, but when you don't have that 20%, some guys begin to crave it and will risk their relationship to have it.

In the end, the guy is stuck with the 20% girl when he could have had the 80%. Does that make sense?

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

This has happened to me at least three times too... I try to look at as, they did ME a favor. There's someone better that's waiting for you! For both of us! ;)

(Florida) Girl said...

This happened to me when I was in the dating world. It burned me too at the time.

I think it means you were on the right track (finding guys that were looking to settle down) but still finding the right guy for you. Sometimes it also takes a really good break-up to open our eyes...so maybe they learned something in losing you. I say, keep your chin up.

Hutch said...

Welcome to the last 10 years of my life. There's only 1 ex of mine that isn't married.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I have an ex that this has happened to... most of the girls he's dated are married and some are having babies. He says it totally freaks him out!

Erin said...

I am sure its got to sting, like why have they found happiness and you haven't? On the other hand...you gotta pity the women they ended up with ;)

tara said...

Its def not you, girl! Keep your head up! The right guy will come along! Promise!

love jenny xoxo said...

that is kinda crazy but it's probably just weird luck. It's there a movie like this?! With Jessica Alba? At least you know they were the ones for you, otherwise that would really suck!

XOXO

Ashley said...

At least they didn't realize they were gay!

Sarah said...

I haven't had that exact situation happen to me, but *I* met my husband 2 months after my ex and I broke up and then we started dating 2 months after that. We got married when we'd been together for a year and a half.

That said, I highly doubt it has anything to do with you and everything to do with them. I know people always say "you'll meet THE ONE when you least expect it," but for me that was very true. Besides, it is more important that you accept yourself for who you are outside of a relationship than to be in a relationship that isn't "the one." And, who knows? Mr. Right could be waiting for you in Cali!

Kelly and Sara said...

Don't worry! You'll find Mr. right :) This reminded me of Good Luck Chuck too.

Claire Kiefer said...

Oh yes, it's happened to me. It makes me wonder if it's me, of course! Why am I not a "settling down" kinda girl?? I guess it's good that you know that they weren't the ones, and therefore you're not sad, but it still does burn a little, huh?

Lisa said...

It is SO not you! It happens that way sometimes. Does it suck? Yes.

But it's also a good thing overall! Glad you're not sad about it though!

Megan said...

they are definitely toolbags. Props to you for kickin them to the curb. It happened to me too...only she proposed to him (evil laugh).

Deidre said...

I haven't had this happen to me (well, because IC is basically my first real boyfriend). But it has happened to IC. Both his highschool and college girlfriends broke up with him and then found the one.


And you're fabulous. You just haven't met the right guy yet.

Brittany Ann said...

For men, I sometimes think it is about timing. When they're ready to get married, they do. With whomever girl they're with or who crosses their path first. But women aren't like that. It's super frustrating!

Amber said...

It's NOT you, you're fabulous! :)

samnhal said...

It's not you, they were bound to get married sometimes. I met my husband 6 months after I broke up with my long time boyfriend. He was the second guy I dated after I broke up with that long time boyfriend. They're bound to get engaged sometime, maybe they were just at the point in their life where they were ready to get married, and maybe they needed to do some changing before they could meet that person? I don't know why it's that way, but it's not because of you. And it really is all about timing. I almost went to the same high school as my husband and he tells me that I probably wouldn't have liked him in high school. You'll find that right guy and then you'll realize why it didn't work out with those lame-os. I have a feeling California holds a lot of good things in store for you. wow, long comment.

Llama said...

This has totally happened to me! Listen, things happen for a reason...thats all you have to keep reminding yourself. There was a reason why things didn't work out. You perfect man is out there!

Jax said...

Took me FOREVAH to comment b/c I havent felt well and went to bed early every night. I have no idea why work is suddenly blocking the ability to comment, but it's crampin my style! LOL!

Anyway, dude.. I have two guys that did the SAME THING. And one of them married my SORORITY sister that I introduced him to...at a wedding we attended together out of state! Good gravy. I can't tell you how many times I've felt like "the girl that got away" in some regards...and I've been told that. It's SO infuriating! I mean, I am SO glad I didnt marry them; don't get me wrong. SO.GLAD. But still...frustrating.

It is definitely not you. DEFINITELY. I joke that I'm the serial monogamist and husband trainer...haha... Seriously. Blah. But, prince charming is likely waiting for you in CA! I'm just saying! You really can say you like to take "long walks on the beach" and be serious! ha! :) Love love, girl!